Waterbucket,
I had the same exact issue as you. I have med size hands but long thin fingers. I shot glocks for years. Decided to pick up m&p 5 in for production. Felt great in the hand, dry firing. But when it came to actually shooting drills/match, horrid. Upper part of grip was too narrow, trigger finger way too deep, second trigger finger joint had to pass 90 degrees to break shot, curved trigger made me pull shots. Put larger backstrap on, it doesn't change the tang grip width and now i can't reach the mag release.
Sell it and get the glock you want. You can't practice/dryfire if the gun doesn't fit. You won't feel confident, constantly trying to shift grip on draw, trying to adjust trigger finger when shooting at speed. Quit messing with it. I learned the hard way. I've essentially tried every polymer striker fired gun for production. There's a reason cz/tanfo or glock dominate production division.