Does your life sometimes effect your shooting mentaly?

[badmonkey]

I shoot to escape my bizzzzy life will drive me up a wall if I don't make time for me Erik Runyan

[sfpmb]

I tried to wrap my head around this one and saw why I couldn't.

I needed to read the thread title as "Does your shooting sometimes effect your life mentaly?". The answer is yes. I am married with two children. I am happy and working very hard to keep it that way. I respect and believe all the comments about family first and being present. I would throw shooting away in a milisecond if I saw it interfer with the things that I want to last, my marriage. Now I will say that I cannot shoot at all the 7 plus matches a month that I could attend, I guess as a fantasy that would be great but only a fantasy without the satisfaction of doing my duty as husband and father.

I like going to a (read preplanned) match and having fun. I often say to the RO behind me as I make ready "Can you believe what I am doing here today" while a gigantic grin takes over my face. Beep, all bliss, dropped point and all. Then I come home and my wife will ask "how did you do at the match honey". I say "I did good". I don't over blow it because she stayed with the kids so I could do that. I start helping her with whatever she is doing. I ask the kids about their morning and guess what, that big grin takes over my face again and I say to myself now "can you believe what you are doing here today". Then the wrestling begins and the calls from the wife that were gonna break something.

Nothing gets in the way of family. If I can squeeze dry fire, airsoft, a match, even writing this post, I am making myself prepared for my next match, whenever that is. When I get out and run and gun, I usually come back home beaming. I know my wife sees that. Show your wife that, show your children that.

I will say my wife sees that I am dedicated to her and the kids. What shows her I am serious about shooting is after the kids go to bed and I have checked in with her about her day, it is now 10 pm and the belt goes on and the magazines start hitting the floor (oh yeah, I got targets on the walls). She laughs sometimes when I run around the bedroom.

first things first

[Mbauer67]

My daughter just turned 18 months old, and every second I am away from her I miss her. With all of the things I do both at home and work I only get to see her a couple hours a day. So I focus 100% of my efforts to accomplish the task I'm working on as quickly as possible. This is something I did not do before having kids; I do it so I can get home and spend time with her.

Truly putting forth your best effort, is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It leaves you exhausted at the end of the day, but I do it because it's the right thing to do. It's what truly makes a person man. So I ask, how many of you out there are men, or just people?

I shoot one maybe two local match a month, but during the weekends when I am not shooting, I make the most every moment with my wife and daughter. So I guess what I'm saying is, if you put the effort into being the best father and husband you can be when you are with your family. Then the guilty feelings will go away, and you've become a real man.

Hope this helps.

[Overhung]

I asked the now X-girlfriend, and the X-girlfriend before that, what she would rather have:

A. me down at the strip clubs drinking five dollar beer after five dollar beer with several fist-fuls of dollar bills

B. at a match with hardly any women around, hanging out with my buds .

Of course, I did try to bring her out to the range and to shoot matches, but she wouldn't listen to me. The results were disastrous. So I never took her to the range or to matches again.

Match time = me time

It's like my mini-vacation away from it all.

I think for the next future X-girlfriend, if I start receiving grief over my time at matches, I might just say that I am going to a match, but come back home with glitter and perfume all over me. Then ask her where she would rather have me at.

What about option "C" - No grown men using the word "Buds"

Seriously though, I am in the same place for a different reason. The range is an hour away, there and back, 2 hours. And all matches, minus Area 6 Championships, are designed to be slow, bottle necked, painful exercises, especially when there are M and GMs around and their usual lack luster chronies who hang on their every word and forget about taping, or worse yet, approach the line without their mental plan in place and use many a minute to rehearse while 11 people in the squad are quietly watching. Throw in another hour for score compilation, I am looking at a 6 am to 3pm door to door exercise. With up to seven hours standing in the hot Louisiana sun standing in mud and now crude.

I love shooting. I love USPSA. I love the sport. But I hate the pace. I find myself shooting much less because of the pace of play. It's analogous to playing golf behind a 4 some of women beginners on a Saturday.

I tape and tape and paint and reset and score. I do. Many do also (I'm not on the cross here), but in the end it is 30 seconds of fun and an hour of taping x 6 stages.

I was flamed last year a bit when I suggested the ROs not engage each shooter to excruciating detail during a match, and I think there should be a time limit for making ready. Protests should be limited- strange how it is always us C and B class shooters indicating that we put a 30 yard double tap into the same hole.

In short, I don't think it would be as much of a negotiation, if we could remove idle hours from a match. Shoot more stages, or go home early.

Your club may be different.

[Bob DuBois]

By all means do all you can with the girls, then take the 13 year old with you to the range, not all but some girls enjoy shooting.

Helps when it's 5-1 if you can get a few on your side.

Your also blessed Oak Harbor is a beautiful area to live in. I was stationed there in the Navy in 1966-67, I'm sure it's grown a lot but enjoyed it then.

[Pezco]

While I'm very good at compartmentalizing things, I still have to say yes. I can't imagine a father & husband with the pressures of work not having these things pulling on him or her.

[XRe]

How can your life not affect your game?

The thing is, you have to prioritize and balance - and, frankly, some things deserve more priority than others. But, if all you do is one thing, you become imbalanced - that leads to burn out, performance degradation, etc. Taking some time for yourself is important (and it's important to be certain to reciprocate for your wife... she needs "me time", too). It's also important to get your chores done around the house, show up to work and do a good job, etc. All of those things have to be in balance, and at the very least, your head is going to be on one of those when it's trying to do something else...

[Round_Gun_Shooter]

I' am a husband and a father of 4 girls 13,10,8, and 2 years old. They keep me busy all day long and so does my wife. My only time away is to hit up a local IDPA match or a hour at the range on my lunch break once a week. I just got in to the game this year and my life seems to be effecting my shooting lately. I will either get into it with the wife the day before a match or feel guilty because I went to a match instead of going to my daughters baseball game or cheer practice. I care about my kids and wife but I need some me time. I keep thinking about it when I'm at a match and not focused my shooting. Instead I' am worried about what my kids and wife think of me for not showing up. Don't get me wrong I do go to there games but not on the day's that I have a match. How do I juggle the 2? I keep asking myself, am I selfish? I need to focus on my goal at the match but don't know how when my life is effecting it.

First, no you are NOT selfish. It is all about setting priorities. For me, my health is first, family is next, by business is next, and my hobbies come last. Many days people are shooting and I am working. Some days I am shooting and the family has other things going on. Most days I am not shooting. I have no time to practice so I need to be content with not being competitive. I play as a way to relax and having set it that way in my mind, if I don't feel like going to a match, I don't go. If I think the family would be better with me at a function or if I need to work, I don't shoot.

All that said, I am 59yrs old, have been married 36yrs, my kids are grown, and by business is a one man shop so life is rather busy but I enjoy everything I do or I don't do it. Does it have an impact on my shooting? Damn straight skippy.

Edited June 9, 2010 by Round_Gun_Shooter

[B_Seehawer]

This sport would be a lot easier if my wife were more supportive...... If I told her it was fun, I wouldn't get to do it!!

Brad

[2alpha]

It's a skill you need to develop anyway, if you have a busy life with kids and other stuff think of it as more of a challenge, an opportunity to grow rather than an anchor to drag around.

[LeftyGirl]

I'm with Gomer! My husband and I shoot together almost every weekend, and it's a great way for us to spend time together as a couple. Granted, I wouldn't recommend teaching your own family members to shoot - we've had our share of arguments that way. But I'd definitely recommend making shooting a family affair!

[TWHaz]

I' am a husband and a father of 4 girls 13,10,8, and 2 years old. They keep me busy all day long and so does my wife. My only time away is to hit up a local IDPA match or a hour at the range on my lunch break once a week. I just got in to the game this year and my life seems to be effecting my shooting lately. I will either get into it with the wife the day before a match or feel guilty because I went to a match instead of going to my daughters baseball game or cheer practice. I care about my kids and wife but I need some me time. I keep thinking about it when I'm at a match and not focused my shooting. Instead I' am worried about what my kids and wife think of me for not showing up. Don't get me wrong I do go to there games but not on the day's that I have a match. How do I juggle the 2? I keep asking myself, am I selfish? I need to focus on my goal at the match but don't know how when my life is effecting it.

The answer to your question is a big YES. Unless you are one of the few with the ability to shut everything out when you hear LAMR.

Now for a piece of advice and remember (no whining)

My children are grown and out of the (empty) house. Enjoy them while you can. 16 years from now you will know what I mean. You can shoot anytime in your life, the girls will only be young once. It took both of you to make them, it will take both of you to raise them. Time invested while they are young will have BIG payoffs when they are teenagers. Remember it is a hobby,very few make a living at it. When they are mature enough, introduce them to the sport.

[Paul Santiago]

I' am a husband and a father of 4 girls 13,10,8, and 2 years old. They keep me busy all day long and so does my wife. My only time away is to hit up a local IDPA match or a hour at the range on my lunch break once a week. I just got in to the game this year and my life seems to be effecting my shooting lately. I will either get into it with the wife the day before a match or feel guilty because I went to a match instead of going to my daughters baseball game or cheer practice. I care about my kids and wife but I need some me time. I keep thinking about it when I'm at a match and not focused my shooting. Instead I' am worried about what my kids and wife think of me for not showing up. Don't get me wrong I do go to there games but not on the day's that I have a match. How do I juggle the 2? I keep asking myself, am I selfish? I need to focus on my goal at the match but don't know how when my life is effecting it.

The answer to your question is a big YES. Unless you are one of the few with the ability to shut everything out when you hear LAMR.

Now for a piece of advice and remember (no whining)

My children are grown and out of the (empty) house. Enjoy them while you can. 16 years from now you will know what I mean. You can shoot anytime in your life, the girls will only be young once. It took both of you to make them, it will take both of you to raise them. Time invested while they are young will have BIG payoffs when they are teenagers. Remember it is a hobby,very few make a living at it. When they are mature enough, introduce them to the sport.

+ a million!

Absolutely awesome answer!!!

To me, nothing comes before family. I put off shooting, harley , travel, etc. while my 2 clowns were growing up. They're grown and married and gone.

The most rewarding thing one of my sons told me when discussing us sitting through wrestling meets, football games, and soccer games was, "Dad, don't think for a minute that we didnt notice you and mom in the stands and that it didn't mean something to me."

[EkuJustice]

All the time. Try to make a match when I get time but with the job having even enough free time to make a match is tough. Practice is nonexistant. Usually so fatigued by the time I even get to the match just feel like Im wasting ammo. Went to the state shoot this year after working most of the day before and driving all night to get to the match(checked in 15min before shooters meeting). Just took a couple stages to even get in the right frame of mind for being there. Hard to get into the shooting when the cell phone is ringing constantly in the bag

[JimmyZip]

That must be tough. My job(s) do allow me to leave my phone in the truck at the range. If not, I don't know how you could concentrate.

[Wendytww]

I have a 2 and a 3 year old and run an in-home daycare. I NEED my me time and unlike many women, my me time is at the range. It is also my date night with my husband. I love multitasking! But, life sometimes does stick it's ugly head into my shooting and I just have to learn to put it aside. I have only been moderately successful in this.