rhino Posted September 14, 2003 Share Posted September 14, 2003 Today . . . IDPA Indiana Regional . . . The first stage required taking a kneeling position to shoot around low cover (twice). Using my kneepads, cleverly hidden by my long trousers, I was able to achieve a passable imitation of kneeling. Swiftly I delivered death and destruction to wicked, evil paper targets wearing t-shirts, making sure to cut the chee...er...slice the pie as I did so. All was well until . . . . . . I tried to get up. Oh, it wasn't the end of the stage, no. I had to get up and move to the other end of the low cover and once again mimic kneeling as you humans do. That was the plan, anyway. As I strained to arise to my hind paws, I heard and felt a something that could only be described as violent ripping. The sound that the inseam (to put it delicately) of a pair of trousers makes when it fails its duty and goes to live with Jesus. Apparently my cleverly hidden kneepads had provided just enough additional friction so that the legs of my pants could not slide freely. The result: one pair of crotchless cargo pants. Now, a pair of crotchless cargo pants isn't necessarily the end of the world in an of itself, but in this case, those pants were wrapped around the lower half of one rhino, size extra big. Yes, the tactical twins were exposed to the tactical elements when the tactical trousers tossed in the tactical towel. Fortunately for the weak of heart, I was wearing underwear. Unfortunately for the weak of heart, they were not boxers. Needless to say, one with questionable shooting skills is unlikely to have a good shooting day when Big Jim & the Twins are hangin' in the tactical breeze. Since I refuse to surrender, I pressed onward and completed the match, although my scores were even more pathetic than usual. At the end of the day, when prizes were awarded, I secretly hoped that I might win a pair of size 62 cargo pants with a kevlar reinforced, super duty crotch. I was suprised and disappointed to learn that at this particular match, that common item was not among the booty! Quelle surprise! In the future, I shall consider any day in which my clothing continues to clothe me a victory! And that, friends, was the Day the Pants Failed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted September 14, 2003 Share Posted September 14, 2003 Avoid being bare--bring a spare! (Cargo pants, that is...) Totally LMAO.......!!!!!! And this from a guy who just told me he "hopes to have a full-fleged sense of humor someday." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hey QuicksDraw! Posted September 14, 2003 Share Posted September 14, 2003 I almost spit my coffee onto my monitor! Very Funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twix Posted September 14, 2003 Share Posted September 14, 2003 I hope there weren't any children there, they could be scarred for life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhino Posted September 14, 2003 Author Share Posted September 14, 2003 I know what you're all thinking . . . you thinking, "Why didn't you put a paster on it?" <rim shot!> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DougBarnes101 Posted September 14, 2003 Share Posted September 14, 2003 LMAO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garfield Posted September 14, 2003 Share Posted September 14, 2003 As I noticed the topic and the author, I already had my suspicions .. and they were right Nice reading on a dull and lazy day, thanks for sharing that with us ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhino Posted September 14, 2003 Author Share Posted September 14, 2003 I know what you're all thinking again. You're thinking, "Joey, didn't it feel good to have that cool breeze on your goods on such a hot day?" And of course, at first it did feel kinda good, but ultimately I greatly prefer to keep el huevos closer to the ranchero. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garfield Posted September 14, 2003 Share Posted September 14, 2003 but ultimately I greatly prefer to keep el huevos closer to the ranchero. As does the public I guess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhino Posted September 14, 2003 Author Share Posted September 14, 2003 As does the public I guess As youth of America might say in the current urban vernacular, "True dat!" You are a perceptive individual, El Gato Sarcastico! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Sweeney Posted September 16, 2003 Share Posted September 16, 2003 My difficulty in such a situation would be in keeping charlie and the tunas away from the velcro straps holding the knee pads on. <ba-ding!> The cool breeze is not welcome if it risks incurring an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty, or adds time while dodging sharp, hot brass. Perhaps in future stages requiring kneeling, the RO will provide you with a tarp and duct tape? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted September 16, 2003 Share Posted September 16, 2003 Aha! The Solution! Spandex! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Sweeney Posted September 16, 2003 Share Posted September 16, 2003 Oh, dear god no! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted September 16, 2003 Share Posted September 16, 2003 Oh, dear god, yes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhino Posted September 16, 2003 Author Share Posted September 16, 2003 I like it! It could work! That brings us right back to my idea of X-Treme Shooting! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted September 16, 2003 Share Posted September 16, 2003 Exactly!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhino Posted September 16, 2003 Author Share Posted September 16, 2003 You just wanna see me bum! Cheeky monkey! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted September 17, 2003 Share Posted September 17, 2003 Cheeky, reloadin', shootin' SiG Lady--that's me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3quartertime Posted September 17, 2003 Share Posted September 17, 2003 Too funny!!! Check with that crazed MD D-Lo to see if you have to bring the kevlar reinforced models to the match. Must have been a sight to see,,, But the story was ok for me!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JakeMartens Posted September 17, 2003 Share Posted September 17, 2003 I was in Joey squad and yes it was a sight to see..... Many would have said to hell with it and called it day, but not Joey he uh...really "hung" in there ?!?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted September 17, 2003 Share Posted September 17, 2003 Rhino You have to be careful how you speak to SiG Lady, she is the one who penned the bumper sticker which reads: I Miss My Ex, But I'm Reloading. I'm a bit surprised that at the time of the pants incident, you did not break into a chorus of Swing Low Sweet Chariot. I thought tearing your pants only happened in Little Rascal films. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h4444 Posted September 17, 2003 Share Posted September 17, 2003 Reminds me of the time I was messing around shooting my 45 at 50 yards. I was laying on a table using a rest.... First shot good,,,,second shot good,,,,third shot,,,,I felt and empty bounce off the ballistic panel next to me,,,land on my back and proceed to roll down my back and into the region in which the sun doesn't shine!!! Well, I was loading pretty hot defensive ammo,,,,,and that .45 case found the perfect area in which to wedge itself to produce maximum, pain, discomfort, and shear embarassment. I immediately hit the thumb safety, set the gun on the tabe and simultaneously jumped up and went to digging for gold..... Yes,,,,it did burn......yes there were people around,,,,,,and yes, I will never shoot laying partially on a rest again,,,,,, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted September 17, 2003 Share Posted September 17, 2003 Try having hot casings fall down the front of your blouse if you're female... ooch, ouch, oohh, ouch, eek.....! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted September 17, 2003 Share Posted September 17, 2003 SiG Lady In the olden times, we had a very well endowed gal shoot with us, and she was a pretty good shooter, not in the class of Joann Hall, but very good. We were shooting a Natl qualification match to see who got a slot. She had on a scoop necked tight pullover when a hot case went down her front. Needless to say, due to that incident, she did not earn a slot that year, however she was really exciting to watch for about 3 or 4 seconds when it happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhino Posted September 17, 2003 Author Share Posted September 17, 2003 I would have leaped to the fore to help her fish it out! I'm that kind of guy. Mister Helper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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