vrmn1 Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 How do you know a drummer is homeless? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlamoShooter Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 (edited) Edited February 7, 2008 by AlamoShooter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AustinMike Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 How do you know a drummer is homeless? His girlfriend just dumped him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Odie Posted February 5, 2008 Author Share Posted February 5, 2008 I think I can remember some of these. .38 special, David Allan Coe, Dwight Yoakam, Mindy Mcready, Delbert McClinton,Daryl Singletary, Billy Joe Shaver, Confederate Railroad, Jack Ingram, Cross Canadian Ragweed, Todd Snider,Shenandoah,Jessica Andrews, Robert Earl Keen, Pat Green, and some others I can't remember. The funny thing about opening for big people is it's really exciting about the first 3 times. After that, it just pisses you off it's another freebie or almost freebie. I still have most all my gear. I had a couple of big rigs, but my preference is little amps cranked way up, especially for country or "texas music". I love a JCM 800 pegged to the stops, unfortunately the front row and sound guy usually DON'T . When our singer saw my foot going for the a/b splitter, and he was on my side of the stage, he RAN, for all he was worth . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boo radley Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 Ok, this one and I won't tell anymore. How do you know there's a drummer at the door? Because you ordered a pizza. How can tell the stage is level? The drummer drools out of both corners of his mouth How do you shut a guitar player up???? You --> put a piece of sheet music in front of him. Heh, reminds me of that Todd Barry routine, in which he says he likes watching the Grammy's because you never know what you'll see. Like back when, when Guns'nRoses played in conjunction with a full orchestra. "And look at this! The first chair violin has to use sheet music, but Slash doesn't need to!!" Here's my favorite one: Teenage kid pesters his folks for music lessons. He wants to play the bass, and, for his birthday, they arrange for him to be taught. After his first lesson, over dinner his parents ask how it went. "Pretty good -- I learned the 4 strings, how to tune, and we started the A major scale." The next week comes, and again he has a lesson. 3rd week, and the father his surprised to see his son at home. The father ask, "Don't you have a bass guitar lesson tonight? Why are you home?" "Nah," says the kid. "I got a gig." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tpcdvc Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 OK Here is one I like. What is the difference between a large pizza and a bass player? A large pizza can feed a family of four!!!!! OR: How do you make a drummer play softer? Put a chart in front of him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigsaxdog Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 what's the difference between a dead snake in the road, and a dead trombone player in the road?????......there were skid marks in front of the snake,......and the snake was on his way to a gig! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nashvillebill Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 What is perfect pitch? Landing a banjo in a dumpster without hitting the sides. Welcome to Heaven, here's your harp. Welcome to Hell, here's your banjo. I've got a million of them. I played most of the hillbilly afrodisiacs for thirty years, now I shoot. How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1-5-1-5-1-5-1-5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tpcdvc Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 What is perfect pitch? Landing a banjo in a dumpster without hitting the sides.Welcome to Heaven, here's your harp. Welcome to Hell, here's your banjo. I've got a million of them. I played most of the hillbilly afrodisiacs for thirty years, now I shoot. How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1-5-1-5-1-5-1-5 I think you have to live in Nashville to get that last one Bill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
revchuck Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 What's the range of a banjo? About 30 yards, with a good arm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nashvillebill Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 The police were called to break up a fight on the band stand one night. Upon arrival the officer seperated the two and ask what the problem was. The banjo player shrieked " That SOB fiddle player de-tuned one of my strings when I wasn't lookin". "Well thats no reason to try and kill a man" the officer scolded. "I know", said the banjo player "But he wont tell me which one." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Odie Posted February 7, 2008 Author Share Posted February 7, 2008 I just read in the paper today where a tour bus crashed killing 3 musicians and a drummer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Odie Posted February 7, 2008 Author Share Posted February 7, 2008 I heard a similiar one about guitar players Bill, it was 1,4,5 BACKTOTHEONE,4,5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SDM Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 I think I can remember some of these. .38 special, David Allan Coe, Dwight Yoakam, Mindy Mcready, Delbert McClinton,Daryl Singletary, Billy Joe Shaver, Confederate Railroad, Jack Ingram, Cross Canadian Ragweed, Todd Snider,Shenandoah,Jessica Andrews, Robert Earl Keen, Pat Green, and some others I can't remember. The funny thing about opening for big people is it's really exciting about the first 3 times. After that, it just pisses you off it's another freebie or almost freebie. I still have most all my gear. I had a couple of big rigs, but my preference is little amps cranked way up, especially for country or "texas music". I love a JCM 800 pegged to the stops, unfortunately the front row and sound guy usually DON'T . When our singer saw my foot going for the a/b splitter, and he was on my side of the stage, he RAN, for all he was worth . I don't know what a JCM 800, "stops", or an a/b splitter is but I recognize the stuff in bold pretty well. That is a large part of my collection. I wish there was more Texas Music in Virginia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigsaxdog Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 what's the difference between a coffin and an acoustic bassist???.....with the coffin, the dead guy is on the inside of the box!!!! (rimshot.....) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Odie Posted February 7, 2008 Author Share Posted February 7, 2008 [+1 on the credit card vs. a Telecaster or Strat. Someday . . . Why wait? JUMP JUMP JUMP JUMP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Odie Posted February 7, 2008 Author Share Posted February 7, 2008 Or, Welcome to hell, here's your steel, with brand new strings, and EVERY SINGLE ONE of the benders out of calibration. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L9X25 Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 masters degree in performance(saxophone)...all the saxes, flutes, really average clarinet(i can't even spell it)...ex-navy musician....lotta jazz gigs....Disney....been fired from everywhere(not exactly fired in the normal sense, most free-lance players get fired every 4 hrs., you dig?)... just played w/ the fla. orchestra tonite, Gershwin pops series, "Rhapsody in Blue", etc. (whatta bunch of pri$%s). shooting and playing has always had some definite similarities. i really dig the development/understanding of specific techniques.....sometimes the game/ego thing gets pretty old, just like among musicians. for the ones that can really play, proving it doesn't mean much, at least not in the generic sense. it's like what Duke Ellington said about jazz (harley davidson stole this one)..."if you gotta ask, you'll never know...." Figures that they would all be WIND instruments .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJPoLo Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 bass player for 23 years. Dj for 12. I play anything from funk to punk.. I have a similar story: Bass player for 30 years, DJ for 20. Now I score major motion pictures Minor DVD Releases. My first band, Fire!, circa 1977: My New Wave period, 1983: DJ Wonderboy, 2002: -Chet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Odie Posted February 7, 2008 Author Share Posted February 7, 2008 Hey Chet, you still got that Rick? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJPoLo Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 Hey Chet, you still got that Rick? No, unfortunately I sold it around 1991. It was a sweet axe. I'm now running an Ibanez SRX 350NT through a Carvin RC210-181. -Chet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigsaxdog Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 Figures that they would all be WIND instruments ........are you trying to say that i gas off alot???......i mean, i would expect a few skin flute, hornsucker, bonerphone jabs, but saying i'm a windbag????? and on this forum of lofty ideals and extreme temperance??? well, i never........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AustinMike Posted February 7, 2008 Share Posted February 7, 2008 Chet, I can't get over the New Wave look! I'm not proud of it, but I was in a hair band (way back in the 80's when I had hair!) I think it's best to keep those pictures buried. My last gig was a metal band back in 2006. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Odie Posted February 8, 2008 Author Share Posted February 8, 2008 Always wanted a Rick, just to have around. They just have their own sound. I have a '78 P bass I traded a guy a 1994 strat for. Straight trade. I felt really bad about it, but not bad enough to stop me from taking his bass off his hands Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Odie Posted February 8, 2008 Author Share Posted February 8, 2008 Alright, how about some suggestions on how to put something together with shooters that play? I know Steve Anderson plays, and mentions on his website he'd like to do something along this line. I wish he'd chime in on this. What do all of you think? A monster jam? Maybe a CD to sell and donate all the proceeds to the Junior program? Whatever. Throw some ideas around. I think a lot of shooters would buy something like that just to help the junior program, and just the sheer novelty of a bunch of gun heads making racket. Even if it WAS terrible, which I actually don't think it would be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now