Tandem Story

[ErikW]

TDean's "add to the story" thread reminded me of this and I had to dig it up for you guys...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Received from an English Professor:

         

This assignment was actually turned in by two of my English students:

Rebecca

and Gary

         

English 44A

         

SMU

         

Creative Writing

         

Professor Miller

         

In-class assignment for Wednesday:

         

Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story.  The

process is simple.  Each person will pair off with the person sitting

to his or her immediate right.  One of you will then write the first

paragraph of a short story.  The partner will read the first paragraph

and then add another paragraph to the story.  The first person will

then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth.  Remember to

reread what has been written each time in order to keep the story

coherent.  The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been

reached.

         

-----------------------------------------

         

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted.  The

chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home,

now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times,

that he liked chamomile.  But she felt she must now, at all costs,

keep her mind off Carl.  His possessiveness was suffocating, and if

she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again.  So

chamomile was out of the question.

         

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron

now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about

than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with

whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago.  "A.  S.  Harris

to Geostation 17", he said into his transgalactic communicator.  

"Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before

he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and

blasted a hole through his ships cargo bay.  The jolt from the direct

hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

         

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not  before he felt

one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who

had ever had feelings for him.  Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its

pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Sklylon 4.  

"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel."

Laurie read in her newspaper one morning.  The news simultaneously

excited her and bored her.  She stared out the window, dreaming of her

youth - when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no

newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of

innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.  "Why must one

lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

         

Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live.

Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched

the first of its lithium fusion missiles.  The dimwitted wimpy

peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty

through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile

alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race.  Within

two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on

course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire

planet.  With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their

diabolical plan.  The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere

unimpeded.  The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine

headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the

inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie and 85 million

other Americans.  The President slammed his fist on the conference

table.  "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty!  Let's

blow'em out of the sky!"

         

This is absurd.  I refuse to continue this mockery of literature.  My

writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.

         

Yeah?  Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at

writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.

[Flexmoney]

cool.

[38supPat]

I think I know her ...lol

[Singlestack]

I know the same COUPLE! He is my shooting buddy..... lol

[Bill Schwab]

LMAO

[TDean]

Dang! so did those two eventually get together.

Definately some sparks there!

Good stuff.

[Duane Thomas]

I went to a party once for the guy who had just won the National Book Award - who turned out to be really cool, amazingly enough. While there this thin, pale, neurotic fan of "literary fiction" asked me what I did for a living. I told her, "I'm a professional writer."

"You mean that's all you do?"

"Yep."

"Well, I could never prostitute my talent."

You have no idea how close I came to telling her, "Of course you couldn't, honey. Being a prostitute requires having something people are willing to pay money for."

[gm iprod]

Don't ever hold back. You never know when you will get the chance to be that witty in public again.

The worst part is she would think that you are wrong.

[lynn jones]

Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus,"

offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix:

The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a

new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person

will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right.

As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a

short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another

copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add

another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another

copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so

on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what t has been written each time

in order to keep the story coherent. There is be absolutely NO talking

outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written

in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been

reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of his English students:

Rebecca and Gary.

THE STORY:

(first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The

chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home,

now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that

he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her

mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought

about him too much her asthma started acting up again.

So chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Gary)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack

squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about

than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with

whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago.

"A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic

communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so

far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed

out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt

from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the

cockpit.

(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he

felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who

had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its

pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.

"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,"

Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously

excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her

youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no

newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of

innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must

one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

(Gary)

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.

Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mother ship

launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy

peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty

through the Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the

hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race.

Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships

were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the

entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their

diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere

unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine

headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the

inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie

and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the

conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that

treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

(Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My

writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary)

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at

writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have

chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING TEA? Oh no,

I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele

novels!"

(Rebecca)

a_-hole.

(Gary)

Bitch

(Rebecca)

F__K YOU -- YOU NEANDERTHAL!

(Gary)

Go drink some tea - whore.

(TEACHER)

A+ - I really liked this one

[tightloop]

I have taught some students who were the clones of those...

[mspingy]

Now that was funny! What an imagination that teacher had to think that one up.

[folsoml]

Fantastic! Definitely A++

[Merlin Orr]

Thats funny - Erik liked it also.