Deciphering Gun Ads

[Round_Gun_Shooter]

Sent to me by a friend in Florida as related to their local gun board.

“If Ad is Still Posted, Gun is Still for Sale” If ad is still posted, gun is still priced to high.

"Wife Says Sell" I am tired of being beat up in my own house by a female with a moustache who is bigger than I am, so this gun has to go.

“Will Demonstrate at the Range if You Provide the Ammo and Pay the Range Fees” I have never had any ammo for this gun nor have I fired it, and I do not have an extra $5 to go to the range.

“Custom Ruger 10/22” I put $500 worth of useless accessories on my 10/22 before I realized it was still going to be a Ruger 10/22 worth $175 when I was done.

“Tack Driver” I fired 100 rounds through this gun, and one of them hit the edge of the target.

“Highly Sought After” Anyone with $300 already has one.

“In Good Shape” Pretend you cannot see the rust and pitting in the photos I posted.

“Combat” I played a lot of video games. In fact, I am 58 years old, and I am still playing a lot of video games.

“I Am Not Hurting for Money” I am hurting for money.

“Trade Value” If you are paying in cash, I want $100 more than my gun is worth. If you want to trade me something for it, I will need a gun worth $200 more than mine.

“Need to Sell” I need money, but I am not going to get any by advertising on FGT, because my guns are priced to high.

“Need to Sale” Same as above, but I did not attend school past the 5th grade.

“Cleaning Out the Safe” I do not own a safe, and here is a list of overpriced garbage I want to sell.

“Want to Buy” I cannot afford to buy what I am looking for, but have no problem wasting your time with countless email exchanges while I pretend I can.

“Custom AR-15 Rifle” I installed a Chinese Eotech knock-off and $30 laser.

“Pre-Ban” A 20 year old rifle with a flash suppresser, identical to the same gun manufactured today.

“Battle Rifle” Neither I nor this rifle have ever seen a battle.

“Kept in Safe Since New.” I have never owned a safe.

“Mint Condition” I have not dropped this one on the concrete steps of my mobile home yet.

“My Favorite Gun to Shoot” This gun is .22 caliber, and the only one I can afford to shoot.

“Nice AR-15 Pistol” I thought I would be able to hit a 5 foot diameter target at 10 feet. I was wrong.

“Recently Appraised” I made up a dollar amount to put in this ad so I can justify my high price.

“$___ Worth of Options” I bought a bunch of stupid crap to put on my gun, and there is no way I am ever going to recoup that money.

“Fun Gun to Shoot” The people at the range laughed at my pink frame Kel Tec, so I have to get something else.

“Excellent Home Defense Weapon” I have a shotgun for sale.

“Remarkably Accurate” I tried to hit the State of Florida from 50 yards, and I missed.

“Low Round Count” My gun looks good, and there is no way you can tell how much I shot it.

“Getting Hard to Find” I want you to think there are not 67 of this same model advertised on Gunbroker for half the price I am asking.

“Price is Firm” I will not be selling this gun because it is priced too high.

“No Trades” This is usually followed by ‘the only thing I would be interested in trading for is a ______.’

“On the List to be Banned” I have often wondered how some douchebag living in a double-wide trailer in Lake County managed to get his hands on “the list.” Did a BATF agent drop it out of his pocket one night while working undercover trying to insert his tiny manshaft into a sheep so he would be accepted by the neighbors?

“No Low Ball Offers” This phrase is used when a FGT moron has his gun priced way to high and is trying to subconsciously convince potential buyers that it is worth twice its actual value. Seller is REALLY going to be disgusted with you if you offer him $200 for his $175 gun that he has advertised for $400.

“Furniture” A crafty way of talking about the stocks on a rifle, when a seller wants to present himself as a trendy gun-expert. Kind of like a politician talking about reducing the deficit. Sounds good in a 5 second sound bite, but everyone is still aware he has no idea what he is talking about.

“Rare” This means the seller’s Ruger 10/22 with birch stock and Uncle Mike’s $4 sling is somehow worth $100 more than a new one from Wal-Mart.

“Unfired” Gun has been shot, but cleaned very well.

"Tactical" My High Point Carbine has a 30 round magazine.

“Won’t Last Long at this Price” Seller is going to remove the ad in 2 days and keep the gun, because it was priced to high.

“BNIB” Advertising your gun as BRAND new in box makes it worth at least $200 more than one that is just NIB.

"Going Back in the Safe" "This price is only good for 2 days, then the gun is going back in my safe." So I guess I better hurry up and give you the $850 for your Glock 19 before I miss out on this bargain of a life time, right?

[Steve RA]

[sfl]

Stolen. Thats great.

[SonOfSpartans]

Same thing in some stores. Great list.

[SiG Lady]

Lord, that's funny!! Especially the one about "I am not hurting for money."

But actually, they're ALL funny

[Youngeyes]

Hey! Someone stole my best selling techniques. Who do I sue?

[thermobollocks]

LNIB = "I f----d up"

[Dranoel]

I didn't see "Minty" on the list and have always wondered if that meant "sorta like mint condition" or "I cleaned the whole thing with mouthwash so it smells really nice".

[thermobollocks]

I didn't see "Minty" on the list and have always wondered if that meant "sorta like mint condition" or "I cleaned the whole thing with mouthwash so it smells really nice".

Froglube

[gino_aki]

“Combat” I played a lot of video games. In fact, I am 58 years old, and I am still playing a lot of video games.

But, but, but...I AM 58 years old and I am still playing video games, though just the Call of Duty ones....