-JQ- Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 I heard that a few weeks ago, he changed his name to Seal Team 6. And by the way, thanks to the real guys there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rfwobbly Posted May 7, 2011 Share Posted May 7, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin c Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 (edited) New ones: If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris destroyed the Periodic Table because he only recognizes the element of suprise. There is no "Ctrl" button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control. Chuck Norris was an only child ... eventually. Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting because Chuck Norris is not acting. The square root of Chuck Norris is Pain. Chuck Norris squared is Death. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are called giraffes. Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is. Chuck Norris' pulse is measured on the Richter Scale. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood. Just never his own. and the pièce de résistance: Chuck Norris has only smiled once. An orphan girl's dead puppy came back to life. Edited July 21, 2011 by kevin c Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbbean Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-JQ- Posted July 21, 2011 Author Share Posted July 21, 2011 (edited) Chuck Norris destroyed the Periodic Table because he only recognizes the element of surprise. :roflol: Edited July 21, 2011 by -JQ- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wgnoyes Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 Chuck Norris is in hiding. Jack Bauer and Jason Bourne ran him off. They don't like having wimps hanging around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a.roberts Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 Chuck Norris is in hiding. Jack Bauer and Jason Bourne ran him off. They don't like having wimps hanging around. Untrue. Jerry M. and Chuck are collaborating on a project. It's going to be huge. So huge that the entire Earth may explode like that bar that Chuck and Mr. T walked into. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lumpygravy Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups - he pushes the earth down. When the Boogey Man goes to sleep he checks under the bed for Chuck Norris. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-Ho Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 Chuck Norris is in hiding. Jack Bauer and Jason Bourne ran him off. They don't like having wimps hanging around. Untrue. Jerry M. and Chuck are collaborating on a project. It's going to be huge. So huge that the entire Earth may explode like that bar that Chuck and Mr. T walked into. I think Jerry is teaching Chuck how to be a BAMF. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ranger Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 When the Boogey Man goes to sleep he checks under the bed for Chuck Norris. That is my all time favorite - I laugh every time I see it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oak hill Posted July 23, 2011 Share Posted July 23, 2011 now that all the bad guys have been dealt with, he has more time for his real passion, selling exercise equipment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wgnoyes Posted July 23, 2011 Share Posted July 23, 2011 Chuck Norris wears Jack Bauer pajamas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DMS42 Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 Chuck Norris doesn't need to hide under the bed or in the Boogey Man's closet because he knows that his very existence is enough to scare the Boogey Man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Dame Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 Norris has been hiding out untill his beard can reach the awesomeness of Brian Wilson's Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lumpygravy Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 Chuck Norris doesn't need to hide under the bed or in the Boogey Man's closet because he knows that his very existence is enough to scare the Boogey Man. +1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OpenDot Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 NSFW - LANGUAGE [mod: removed NSFW content per Forum Guidelines] "Urrrrrrrrrrrrrr........I am Chuck Fuggin Norris!" :roflol: :roflol: :roflol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 Is "The Most Interesting Man in the World" really Chuck Norris, or is Chuck Norris "The Most Interesting Man in the World"...? Hint: Dos (XX) Equis Stay thirsty, my friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robphillips00 Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 Can we send chuck to the washington for attitude adjustment lessons? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lumpygravy Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 (edited) There's a website for everything: Chuck Noris Facts From the Top 50: Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories. Edited August 3, 2011 by lumpygravy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anubis Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Untrue. Jerry M. and Chuck are collaborating on a project. Is this project called "The Apocalypse"??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OpenDot Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwain C. Baer Posted August 18, 2011 Share Posted August 18, 2011 Isn't he getting paid to do exercise commercials now days...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-JQ- Posted August 19, 2011 Author Share Posted August 19, 2011 I thought he was selling toupees...Christie sells exercise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Merricks Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 He has been fighting Zombies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CSEMARTIN Posted November 9, 2011 Share Posted November 9, 2011 NSFW - LANGUAGE [mod: removed NSFW content per Forum Guidelines] "Urrrrrrrrrrrrrr........I am Chuck Fuggin Norris!" :roflol: :roflol: :roflol: hilarious. "You catch bullets with your beard, well I catch them with my skull." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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