PJ BAD Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 Posted to Craig's List Personals: To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah) _____ I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize. I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well. So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace! - Alex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocket35 Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary1911A1 Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 Thanks, I enjoyed reading that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Y. Koester Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 WOW that was funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
el pres Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 Priceless !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffWard Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 perfect... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlamoShooter Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 Poser Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 Real or not, that was funny!! (I kinda hoped it wuz real.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GentlemanJim Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Must have been a pretty nice guy ..to let him walk away. Jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff686 Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 A similar thing happened to me once!! Except the guy had a Glock.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dajarrel Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 A similar thing happened to me once!!Except the guy had a Glock.... did you leave a fudge stain in your BVD's too? dj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisStock Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 A similar thing happened to me once!!Except the guy had a Glock.... Did he jack up your phone bill as well? Funny stuff on CL sometimes....nice find. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OpenShooterGirl Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 06-27-09, 1:43 A M EST. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on my girlfriend, threatening our lives.. > You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. > I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important > message. > First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment when I drew my pistol > after you took my Jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing > the jacket for a reason. > My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 A CP pistol > for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very > evening. > Obviously you agree that it is a very Intimidating weapon when pointed at > your head wasn't it? > I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from > bare footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with > me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come > help mug us again]. > After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, > I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I Went and filled up > my gas tank as well as four other people's in the gas station on your credit > card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely > grateful! > I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with > all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] > > I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked > at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the > entire driver's side of the car. > Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell > just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little > over a day now, so what's going on with that? > Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's > office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible > target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I > guess while he traced your number etc.). > > In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel > this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your > threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these > rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the > opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path you've > chosen to pursue in life. > > Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. > > > Have a good day! > > Thoughtfully yours, Alex > > > P.S. Remember this motto. . An armed society makes for a more civil > society! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChuckS Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 (edited) http://www.brianenos.com/forums/index.php?...7438&hl=mug Edited September 16, 2009 by ChuckS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dajarrel Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Susan, thanks for posting this piece. I must have missed it the first time around. dj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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