jeff89 Posted November 8, 2003 Share Posted November 8, 2003 Not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, & Texan jokes... You know you're in California when...... 1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible. 2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house. 3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English. 4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze. 5. You can't remember...is pot illegal? 6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor. 7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian. 8. You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula. 9. You can't remember...is pot illegal? 10. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears. 11. A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast. 12. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the US 13. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice. 14. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney. 15. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment. 16. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into S & M, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag. 17. You can't remember...is pot illegal? 18. Its barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH 2003." 19. You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Banks himself is teaching the 4:00pm Tae Bo class. 20. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers. 21. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents. 22. Hey!!!! Is Pot Illegal???? 23. Both you AND your dog have therapists. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
warpspeed Posted November 8, 2003 Share Posted November 8, 2003 jeff: I scored 15 / 23. how'd I do ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diehli Posted November 8, 2003 Share Posted November 8, 2003 BAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Awesome! That was great... never seen it before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Singlestack Posted November 8, 2003 Share Posted November 8, 2003 Arugula????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Orr Posted November 8, 2003 Share Posted November 8, 2003 IS Pot illegal??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted November 8, 2003 Share Posted November 8, 2003 Heck, I remember when California was a VERY cool place to be/live/work/hang out, but it's turned into this flippin' circus, for pete's sake. San Francisco USED to be one of the most cultured and dignified places ever. Before that, even, it was certainly one of the wildest and most colorful cities, but still had class. All that is way gone. And I'm third-generation native SFO....... Imagine my grief at the devolution down there. On the other hand, we sold a $15,000 house two years ago for $655,000. That was fairly reasonable compensation for having to watch it all go to hell in the proverbial basket all these years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diehli Posted November 8, 2003 Share Posted November 8, 2003 Arugula????? Expensive lettuce. IS Pot illegal??? Last I heard, the answer to that one was: "don't ask, don't tell the Federal government." On the other hand, we sold a $15,000 house two years ago for $655,000. That was fairly reasonable compensation for having to watch it all go to hell in the proverbial basket all these years. Isn't it just amazing? We've lived in a house that we originally bought for just under $200k for almost exactly 2 years. We could sell it tomorrow for a little under $300k. We'd have to move out of state if we wanted to buy a house after we sold this one, though. To quote those oblivious souls here in CA: "Why's it so hot... and what the hell am I doing in this handbasket?!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrianH Posted November 8, 2003 Share Posted November 8, 2003 His name is Billy Blanks, but then....nobody really gives a s**t..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Posted November 8, 2003 Share Posted November 8, 2003 California state law requires equal opportunity for other qualified locations You Know: You Live in New York City when... You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map. You think Central Park is "nature," You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual. You've worn out a car horn. You think eye contact is an act of aggression. You Live in Maine when... You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco. Halloween costumes fit over parkas. You have more than one recipe for moose. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction. You Live in the Deep South when.... You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store. "Ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are Ya?" "He needed killin' " is a valid defense. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, etc. You live in Colorado when.... You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, and he stops at the day care center. A pass does not involve a football or dating. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail. You live in the Midwest when... You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?" When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!" You live in Florida when.... You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted November 8, 2003 Share Posted November 8, 2003 "...He needed killin'..." LMAO!!!! A lady-friend of mine just moved to Florida "to get away from the rain here in Oregon..." and it's been raining in Florida ever since she got there. Heavily, as a matter of fact. When I ask her how she likes the rain, she always dodges the question. On the other hand, there is only ONE "The City"......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Posted November 8, 2003 Share Posted November 8, 2003 there is only ONE "The City That is right, even though it's not the same city, it is still "the city" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 ...and I wasn't talking about New York....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 I'm talkin SF. It ain't the same as it use'ta be, but it is still the best big city going in my book, even in it's decline. It may be a weird place, but it is still an OK place. Hunter Thompson said it best when he wrote "when the going get's weird, the weird go pro" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
warpspeed Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 The only real problem w/ the original list is that it lumps all Californians togeather. Contrary to popular belief, San Francisco is a city by a body of water Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.Hayden Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 Ouch! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ironman Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 Great post Jim, Native Kalifornian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin c Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 13. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice. Not too long ago I was walking through Berkeley and passed a college student who bade me a pleasant good morning. He was wearing only a pack, a pair of shoes, and a penis guard. He was known around campus as, not suprisingly, "the naked guy". The elaborate jock strap was a concession to the Berkeley men in blue, who apparently told him enough was enough (as it were). Ah, California. What would San Francisco have been if not for Willie Brown and Emperor Norton. And now we have Arnold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 Yeh, lumping all Californians together is both dangerous and culturally un-doable... There's NORTHERN Californians and there's SOUTHERN Californians. A vast difference between the two--for a host of legitimate reasons. And they've been slightly at war for a long time. Anyone here recall the effort to split Kali into two separate states...? But where do you draw that line...... San Jose...? And, yes, I remember Emperor Norton and a lot of other 'colorful' things about SFO back when it was all one big neighborhood. (For those of you familiar, I was Marina/North Beach resident.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.Hayden Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 I think most put it at Bakersfield, but if you're from Tehama or Siskiyou (or as they say (Jefferson State), they draw the line at Redding, but Central Valley, divide it and put SF/Berkeley as part of LA East of Sierras (along 395), draw it at the Sierras Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diehli Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 CA is definitely rife with culture. I think you'd really have to divide it into several Rhode Island-sized states to make everyone happy, though I do agree that SF and LA would do well being governed by the same madman despite the obvious huge economic gap. Ya gotta admit, though... most outsiders would agree that this is the picture painted of CA... THAT's what makes it so funny, even to us natives (and yes, in some cases it might be a laugh out of despair). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.Hayden Posted November 9, 2003 Share Posted November 9, 2003 300Lb... I'm conviced only about 5% of the people in California are from California... the rest are the nut jobs that give us this reputation Look at the recall election, how many of those people were born here? 2? (That's my story and I'm sticking to it) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted November 10, 2003 Share Posted November 10, 2003 I come from a Marin County founding family and some of the old-timers there (this was in 1976) who found out who I was did in fact remember my great grandfather... who founded a small town north of San Rafael. Old roots. Oh, and then there's the cultural dichotomy between The East Bay and The West Bay. I'm not sure I wanna go there... literally or figuratively. I've lived on both sides. Give me the West Bay any day. Sorry. Or, as we sometimes (have to) say, "I'm not from California, I'm from San Francisco." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.Hayden Posted November 10, 2003 Share Posted November 10, 2003 I've lived on both sides. Give me the West Bay any day. Sorry. We'll forgive you... it makes it faster for us on the real side to get to the mountains faster It really comes down (in the Bay area) to if you like cities or space, and of course about 500K different in house prices Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted November 10, 2003 Share Posted November 10, 2003 The word "affordable" cannot be applied to much of ANYTHING in The Bay Area any more. It just doesn't exist. In fact it's downright surreal there right now... tacky little 50-yr-old dumps for over $600K...? Sure. And then some. It makes no sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Posted November 10, 2003 Share Posted November 10, 2003 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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