Doggorloader Posted May 16, 2005 Share Posted May 16, 2005 Why are Men Happier? Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress- $5000. Tux rental- $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood - all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ipscron2000 Posted May 16, 2005 Share Posted May 16, 2005 True, so true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
short_round Posted May 16, 2005 Share Posted May 16, 2005 The floor is a perfectly valid place to store clothes. You can sort laundry by smell. Turning a sweatshirt inside out is an acceptable way to double its wear time before washing. It's time to do the dishes when you need some room in the sink. Your four food groups are alcohol, nicotine, caffine, and deep fried. Cold pizza is acceptable food for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. The coffee table, kitchen table, and dining room table are valid work stations to store gun parts, magazine parts, primer tubes, and tools. You're more efficient since you don't have to put your tools away from these areas since you're just going to use them a little later anyway and don't have to waste time taking them out again. You don't have to maintain an 80 degree temperature at your residence, an inside out sweatshirt is enough. If all the blankets and pillows are off the floor then the bed is made. The bed is also made if the blankets and pillows are off the floor and on the couch. "Clean as you go" means pushing the stuff in front of the door aside before leaving the house. As long as there is toilet paper you are happy, it doesn't have to be installed in the roller, or installed in a particular direction. The ultimate reason for being happier: You don't have to take your gun belt off to take a pee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liota Posted May 17, 2005 Share Posted May 17, 2005 The ultimate reason for being happier:You don't have to take your gun belt off to take a pee. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> That's the truth. Hmmm...How would I look as a guy??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted May 17, 2005 Share Posted May 17, 2005 "You don't have to take your gun belt off to take a pee." With the amount of coffee I consume during a match, yes, whatta hassle!! Gah! But today we found out that sheep and pigs are much smarter than dogs. I wonder if that's relevant. "Cold pizza is acceptable food for breakfast, lunch, or dinner." I have to agree with this... and laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carinab Posted May 17, 2005 Share Posted May 17, 2005 Okay notice the woman all have to chime in here: The ultimate reason for being happier:You don't have to take your gun belt off to take a pee. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> You got me on this one! Nothing worse than trying to extract all ammo off your belt, go to the safe area, and bag your gun just to take a quick pee (no, that funny shelf on the wall of the portajohn isn't there to hold your gun and although it smells nice, that's not a dinner mint - it's a target). You get stuck longer in there too trying to get the whole under belt, over belt thing going right while trying to hold your breath. There's another joke lurking here somewhere but I think I have probably commented already more than I should have. Let me just say the word hover and you figure out the rest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shooter Grrl Posted May 17, 2005 Share Posted May 17, 2005 I've always thought that this was going to be my "get rich" scheme - designing useful comfortable WORKABLE clothing for female IPSC shooters! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skywalker Posted May 17, 2005 Share Posted May 17, 2005 I've always thought that this was going to be my "get rich" scheme - designing useful comfortable WORKABLE clothing for female IPSC shooters!<{POST_SNAPBACK}> Easy! do you remember that "western cowboy" long pants (drawers? long johns?) with two buttons on the back? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rikarin Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 Oh yeah! ROs, can I have safe table next to bathroom pleeeaaase??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Shooter Posted May 19, 2005 Share Posted May 19, 2005 Every morning when I wake up, the very first thing I do is get down on my knees and thank God that I'm a man. I'm outnumbered three to one. (Wife, daughter, dog.) How I've managed to survive is beyond me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carinab Posted May 19, 2005 Share Posted May 19, 2005 It's a sing along everybody: I'm not the world's most passionate man, but I know what I am and I'm glad I'm a man.....and so is Lola - lah lah lah lah Lola. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
folsoml Posted May 26, 2005 Share Posted May 26, 2005 I've always thought that this was going to be my "get rich" scheme - designing useful comfortable WORKABLE clothing for female IPSC shooters! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> How about something like those pajamas with the button up flap in the back? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diehli Posted May 26, 2005 Share Posted May 26, 2005 I've always thought that this was going to be my "get rich" scheme - designing useful comfortable WORKABLE clothing for female IPSC shooters!<{POST_SNAPBACK}> Easy! do you remember that "western cowboy" long pants (drawers? long johns?) with two buttons on the back? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I've always thought that this was going to be my "get rich" scheme - designing useful comfortable WORKABLE clothing for female IPSC shooters! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> How about something like those pajamas with the button up flap in the back? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Luca beat you to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
short_round Posted May 26, 2005 Share Posted May 26, 2005 For some reason the clothing term "crotchless" from the textile glossary comes to mind ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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