North Posted January 9, 2010 Share Posted January 9, 2010 (edited) I hate that the best man at my wedding 13 years ago, that I have not seen for 9 years; Has moved back into town and wants nothing to do with me. I have called and emailed, my wife has called and emailed, and face-booked. At the Squadron Christmas Party, my wife cornered him, but he was drunk and said it was because he is busy at work and don't know how to talk about his issues. We even stopped by his house on Christmas Eve, gave him a Hickory Farm holiday package, invited him to our families Christmas Eve and Christmas dinners. Complete no show. I volunteered for a change of assignment, after I left he went though a messy divorce. We didn't keep in touch. Now I think he hates me. Fast Foreword to today, last activity of the day is the Group Quarterly Awards presentation. I actually win the SNCO of the Quarter, I see my "best man" talking to a friend at the conclusion. By the time I could make it over, 5 minutes max, the "best man" has left. My other friend that goes back the same number of years, makes excuses, but they are simply B.S. I don't give a shit how busy you think you are at work, 30 seconds to say congrats and I have to go, is not going to stop a sortie. I hate not knowing what the hell is his problem. Edited January 9, 2010 by North Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gm iprod Posted January 9, 2010 Share Posted January 9, 2010 Bottle it up like a man and one day you will get him. Only yanking the chain, really just screw him. I bet it is jealousy. You have something he missed out on (wife, good career etc etc) and figures he has had it hard. He needs to take a few harden up pills. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimmyZip Posted January 9, 2010 Share Posted January 9, 2010 Don't waste your time putting in more effort than he is. You will just get bitter, and nothing good willl come of it. I have a friend like this. I haven't talked with him in years. I gave him the last opening. My number, address are listed. I live in the same place I have for 13 years. If and when he wants to talk, my door is open. Until then and eternity, I've got things to do. (As I'm sure you do also) Don't build up hard feelings. Get on with your thing. If he comes around, fine. If he doesn't, spend your time on someone who will spend theirs on you. The world is give and take. JZ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PINMAN44 Posted January 9, 2010 Share Posted January 9, 2010 Don't let him live in your head rent free. Your better than that. It sounds like he has some inferiority issues to work out, there are better people out there for you to associate with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redmanfixit Posted January 9, 2010 Share Posted January 9, 2010 The source of ALL suffering....is attachment. The basis of all attachment is judgment. No exceptions to this. The practice of non-attachment is NOT.... not caring. But it changes things in ways that can open paths to transformation. All texts by real holy beings discuss this. We may choose between things but we may not judge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mildot1 Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 I have the same issue. Friend I went to school with, joined the army on the buddy plan, went thru basic and AIT together. This guy was as redneck as they come, hated harleys, long hair, bikers. Now he is covered with tatt's, owns a harley, looks like something the dog drug in, won't work and hates everything. I personally don't care about the tatt's or harley's, to each his own. What I don't get is the 180 on attitude and life in general. I tried calling and the inviting over and finally gave up. Not worth the time and effort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CocoBolo Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 I would say that he has created a new life and a new self from the ashes of the messy divorce and probaly distanced himself from anything that is tied to the old life and anybody from the old life. Did the same many years ago. Some things you just don't want to be reminded of. And if you have a new spouse or family you avoid the subject of the old life/wife whenever possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokshwn Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 (edited) First off you have no idea that he hates you, why the narcissism to think that it is even about you? It may an unrelated problem that is none of your business. If you didn't care to keep in touch after you left why so much caring now??? At the time you moved on...obviously while you were gone he moved on...regardless of how close you were in the past the bond wasn't strong enough to keep in touch.....sometimes life goes that way. Sometimes it sucks but ultimately we lose a lot more relationships than we maintain. Edited January 10, 2010 by smokshwn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Keen Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 Lot of good answers here, but I like "gm_iprod's" the best. "He needs to take a few harden up pills." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ima45dv8 Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 This Hate rant has turned into a discussion, which is beyond the bounds of the rules for the Hate Forum. Thus, it must be closed. Please review the Hate Forum Rules: http://www.brianenos.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=8097 [note: this is a generic response] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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