Doggorloader Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 1. Your houseplants are alive and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a single bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in you're refrigerator. 4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. 5. You here your favorite song on an elevator. 6. You watch the weather channel. 7. Your friends are married and divorce instead of hook up and break up. 8. You go from 130 days vacation to 15. 9. Clean jeans and a sweater no longer count as dressed up. 10. You're the one calling the police because the people next door are partying to loud. 11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling dirty jokes around you. 12. You have no idea when Taco Bell closes. 13. Your car insurance is going down and your car payments are going up. 14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers. 15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. 16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6:00 PM because you go to bed at 9:00. 17. Dinner and a movie is the date, not the start of it. 18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3:00 AM severely upsets your stomach, not settle it. 19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antiacid instead of condoms and pregnancy tests. 20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff". 21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time. 22. "I can't drink like I used to" replaces "I will never drink that much again". 23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is actually real work. 24. You no longer drink at home before going out to a bar to save money. 25. You look at this entire list desperately for one sign that isn't you!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spook Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator. Brilliant!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 How about finding more hair in your comb than on your head... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Singlestack Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 25. You look at this entire list desperately for one sign that isn't you!!! Damn, I was laughing till #25! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ron Ankeny Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 ...or you grow more hair in your ears than you do on your head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sixgun Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 24. You no longer drink at home before going out to a bar to save money A bar what's a bar!?! I haven't seen the inside of one of those in years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AikiDale Posted December 6, 2003 Share Posted December 6, 2003 Thanks Doggorloader! At 52, according to this wonderful list, I'm not old yet!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted December 6, 2003 Share Posted December 6, 2003 Much laffs, Doggerloader!! However, I still do No. 9... No. 25 pretty much sums it up, somehow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Posted December 6, 2003 Share Posted December 6, 2003 I was told that three things happen as you get older. First the knee's go, then the eyes. I can't remember what the third thing is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Di Vita Posted December 6, 2003 Share Posted December 6, 2003 My guess would be the mind...how old are you george? (rhetorical question) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vince Pinto Posted December 6, 2003 Share Posted December 6, 2003 I scored 25. What do I win? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EricW Posted December 6, 2003 Share Posted December 6, 2003 24. You no longer drink at home before going out to a bar to save money A bar what's a bar!?! I haven't seen the inside of one of those in years. I knew I was old when I went into a bar after a long boozing hiatus and couldn't figure out who let all the little kids in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted December 6, 2003 Share Posted December 6, 2003 ...Well... then there's good ol' No. 1........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sixgun Posted December 7, 2003 Share Posted December 7, 2003 Another one to add to the list: When at a wedding reception, you ask the DJ to turn the music down. Otherwise, you can't hear the conversation you're trying to have! I never thought that would happen to me... Ray C. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garfield Posted December 7, 2003 Share Posted December 7, 2003 Yeah, well, what can I say ... at 34 I already recognize a lot from that list Just this morning I told my wife that every year the "babes" (tv show hosts, actresses, singers, etc.) seem to get younger and younger ... My wife then said something which contained the words "you" and "old" in one sentence but I couldn't clearly understand what she was saying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dajarrel Posted December 7, 2003 Share Posted December 7, 2003 I may have to grow old, but... I refuse to grow up!!!!! Dennis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted December 7, 2003 Share Posted December 7, 2003 ...but... but... I kinda like the Weather Channel...! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EricW Posted December 7, 2003 Share Posted December 7, 2003 My favorite bumper sticker: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted December 7, 2003 Share Posted December 7, 2003 That's the very bumper sticker I refer to when people start bad-mouthing about people over 50 (or so). The courage it sometimes takes every day just to get up and carry on is significant. Especially in the light of the phony American Dream; the drug-culture, take-a-pill-and-everything'll-be-better attitude; the depressed economy; the inefficient education system. And that's even before I get out of bed. Then I have to look in the mirror and start the daily round of repairs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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