outerlimits Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 ____________________________________ TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS: Maria. ____________________________________ TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. __________________________________________ TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' TEACHER: No,that's wrong GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. (I Love this kid) ____________________________________________ TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. __________________________________ TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE: Me! __________________________________________ TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. _______________________________________ TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. ' MILLIE: I is.. TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.' MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.' ________________________________ TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand. ______________________________________ TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. ______________________________ TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog. ___________________________________ TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher __________________________________ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Keen Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 The last 2 get my vote! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MichiganShootist Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 I'll send it to my daughter (who is a teacher),,,, knowing she's going to find it too true to be funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grandbagger Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 very nice..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seth Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Thanks! I enjoyed those quite a bit. Most of them remind me of... me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlamoShooter Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 I never won an argument in school on test that asked for my -Opinion- . My opinion my be wrong , BUT the question asked my Opinion and I gave it , so i answered correctly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Norman Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 I'll go with what Alamo said. I always asked questions along the lines of 'How do you know what the writere (dead these last 200-500 years) meant? My opinion is what you asked and now you tell me I'm wrong? I survived school. Thankfully I can still learn, they didn't kill all the interest and thinking processes. Jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dajarrel Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 "TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. " That sounds a lot like me when I was a youngster. Not that quick witted, just dirty dj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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