G-ManBart Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080925/ap_on_...atulence_charge "Man charged after allegedly passing gas toward cop" SOUTH CHARLESTON, W.Va. - A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer. Jose A. Cruz, 34, of Clarksburg, was pulled over early Tuesday for driving without headlights, police said. According to the criminal complaint, Cruz smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and failed three field sobriety tests before he was handcuffed and taken to a police station for a breathalyzer test. As Patrolman T.E. Parsons prepared the machine, Cruz scooted his chair toward Parsons, lifted his leg and "passed gas loudly," the complaint said. Cruz, according to complaint, then fanned the gas toward the officer. "The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons," the complaint alleged. He was also charged with driving under the influence, driving without headlights and two counts of obstruction. Cruz acknowledged passing gas, but said he didn't move his chair toward the officer nor aim gas at the patrolman. He said he had an upset stomach at the time, but police denied his request to go to the bathroom when he first arrived at the station. "I couldn't hold it no more," he said. He also denied being drunk and uncooperative as the police complaint alleged. He added he was upset at being prepared for a breathalyzer test while having an asthma attack. The police statement said he later resisted being secured for a trip to a hospital that he requested for asthma treatment. Cruz said the officers thought the gas incident was funny when it happened and laughed about it with him. "This is ridiculous," he said. "I could be facing time." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimmyZip Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Lucky for the officer it wasn't..... .....an SBD! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoMiE Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Did the suspect say CONTACT! before he pooted? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimmyZip Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Did he sommersault out of his chair and get the officer by suprise using his superior gas handling skills learned in the boondocks of South Florida? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taildraggerdave Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Did he wait 5 seconds to take aim before launching projectile gas? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steel1212 Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Holy Crap.....I mean....oh never mind lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GentlemanJim Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Oh man This means we could all be charged with battery against a family member And let me tell you....my kids are GUILTY Jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Sierpina Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Is the name correct? Are they sure he wasn't a French Knight?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFlowers Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 To me, this is just stupid on the cops part. Not only because it is silly in and of itself, but it creates a situation where an aggressive defense lawyer is going to make the cop look like an idiot. Thats the risk when you start tacking on silly charges. Lawyer : So officer, you charged my client with Assault and Battery. I take it he took a swing at you? Officer: No sir, he farted at me. Lawyer: I don't think I heard you, sir. Could you repeat that louder? Officer: He farted at me. Lawyer: He farted! You charged Joe Billy Bob with Assault and Battery after he farted? Officer : ohhh... yeah. Lawyer: You did stop him after leaving Flo's did you not? Officer: Yes, sir Lawyer: Ever eaten her chili.... Sure you have and I bet you farted a few time too! Now tell me officer, did you make up the Drunk Driving charge like you made up the Assault charge? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fireant Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 it was just an AD DQ the guy from life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimmyZip Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Oh man This means we could all be charged with battery against a family member And let me tell you....my kids are GUILTY Jim To the chagrin of my school teaching wife, I have taught my two oldest daughters the finer artistic points of directed flatulance! That and the "Magical Fruit" song! Seems I have set myself up for a visit by CPS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flexmoney Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 A shiit will get you killed on the streets!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anubis Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 (edited) And let me tell you....my kids are GUILTY Jim Hey pot this is kettle, I got somethin to say to you........... Edited September 26, 2008 by Anubis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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