ChuckS deserves this one

[kurtm]

A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says...Hey... why the long face?

[ChuckS]

A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says...Hey... why the long face?

Oh yeah?

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink and the bartender ask "how are you going to pay for it." And the duck says "put it on my bill."

[Merlin Orr]

So, a guy walks into a bar. "OUCH!" he said.

[ChuckS]

A jumper cable walks in to a bar. The bartender says,"I'll serve you but don't you start anything. "

[Merlin Orr]

A three legged dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw..."

[outerlimits]

two blondes walk into a bar...you would have thought one of them would have seen it.

[ChuckS]

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging from his fly. The bartender says, "What's up with the steering wheel?" The pirate replys, "Arrr, It's driving me nuts!"

[Merlin Orr]

A man walked into a bar and sat down, and ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer, he heard a soothing voice say "nice tie!" Looking around, he noticed that the bar was empty except for himself and the bartender at the end of the bar. A few sips later the voice said "beautiful shirt".

At this, the man called the bartender over. "Hey...I must be losing my mind," he told the bartender. "I keep hearing these voices saying nice things, and there's not a soul in here but us."

"It's the peanuts," answered the bartender.

"Say what?"

"You heard me," said the barkeep. "It's the peanuts ... they're complimentary."

[ChuckS]

Two cashews walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, get out of here. We don't serve your kind" With that the two cashews demand a drink and the bartender trys to throw them out. Before he can do so, they grab the chairs and start breaking them over the tables. The bartender yells, "What the heck, are you guys nuts."

[Chris Keen]

A guy walks into a bar, and he has a drink. He looks in his pocket, and orders another drink, looks in his pocket, and orders another drink, looks in his pocket, and orders another drink, and so on. And the bartender says, "What are you doing; what's in your pocket?" And the guy said, " It's a picture of my wife; when she starts looking good to me, I know it's time to go home."

[Merlin Orr]

A Polar Bear walks into a bar and squares up to the barman. "I'll have a whisky and coke ............ and some peanuts" said the Polar Bear, in a gruff voice.

To which the bartender replied, "Why the big paws"

[Chris Keen]

A termite went in a bar and asked, "Is the bar tender here?"

[ChuckS]

A clam walks into a bar and the bartender says "we don't serve clams in here" and the clam says "shucks!"

[Merlin Orr]

A dog walks into a bar. He hops up on a bar stool and says, "How about a free drink for the talking dog?" The bartender says, "Sure, the toilet's down the hall."

[ChuckS]

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "you know, we've got a drink named after you". The grasshopper says, "you've got a drink named Bob?".

[Chris Keen]

Three fonts walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "We don't serve your type in here."

[ChuckS]

Three fonts walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "We don't serve your type in here."

The bartender looks up and says, "You guys are being bold coming in here."

[Merlin Orr]

A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and the mushroom says - "Why not? I'm a fungi."

[Rob Boudrie]

A man and an alligator walk into a bar and the man asks "Do you serve <insert target group here>"? The bartender says "Yes", and the main replies "Fine, I'll have a beer and my alligator will have a <insert target group here>".

[ChuckS]

A guy walks into a bar with his tuba, orders a drink and sits in a dark booth in the back. "What's with him?" a man at the bar asks. The bartender says, "He's been like that since he lost his pah."

[Chris Keen]

So a pig walks into a bar and orders 15 beers and drinks them. The bartender asks, "Would you like to know where the bathroom is?" "No, I'm the little pig that goes wee wee wee all the way home."

[ChuckS]

A Dung beetle walks into a bar and pulls up a stool...

[Merlin Orr]

A man runs into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Give me ten shots of your best whiskey." The bartender sets up the ten glasses. The man starts drinking them as quickly as the bartender serves them. The bartender asks, "Why are you drinking so fast?" "You'd drink fast too, if you had what I have." The bartender asks, "What do you have?" "Seventy cents."

[ChuckS]

Here about the magician who walked down the street and turned into a bar?

[Jim Norman]

OK, remember, you all made me do this:

A piece of string walks into a bar. The Bartender yells out that “We don’t serve string in here.” Dejectedly the string leaves. Then he heads back in, same result, several attempts, all the same result.

So, he gets an idea.

Being very flexible, he bends around and loops himself around and through, then unravels his upper most end. Having done this, he heads back to the bar.

He walks in, he steps up to the bar, orders a drink. The bartender looks at him and inquires of the string: “Aren’t you that string I threw out of here earlier?”

The string replies……….

No, I'm a Frayed Knot