BritinUSA Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 Nuts magazine's top 10 worst Christmas cracker jokes. 1. What is Santa's favourite pizza? One that's deep pan, crisp and even. 2. On which side do chickens have the most feathers? The outside. 3. What kind of paper likes music? (W)rapping paper. 4. What's white and goes up? A confused snowflake. 5. What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts? Annette. 6. Did you hear about the man who bought a paper shop? It blew away. 7. What's furry and minty? A polo bear. 8. How do snowmen get around? They ride an icicle. 9. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy. 10. What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert? Lost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoofy Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 British Humor, I'll never get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MichiganShootist Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miranda Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 I liked them. be careful paper trucks blow away too.... miranda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
n2ipsc Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 MAJOR groaners... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Orr Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 I suspect that here in the Colonies we don't know what a "Christmas cracker" is.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisStock Posted December 19, 2007 Share Posted December 19, 2007 I suspect that here in the Colonies we don't know what a "Christmas cracker" is.... I am hazarding a guess that "cracker" is synonymous with "joke". That or silly white boy, either way, MAJOR punnage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritinUSA Posted December 20, 2007 Author Share Posted December 20, 2007 This is a Christmas Cracker Two people each grab an end and pull, the two ends split apart with a 'SNAP' and inside is a stupid paper hat, some kind of novelty and really bad joke printed on a small piece of paper. It's kind of a cross between a fortune cookie, a wishbone and any other totally pointless object. It's a staple of a British Christmas... I'm not defending it, but I do miss them at Christmas-time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Orr Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 This is a Christmas Cracker Two people each grab an end and pull, the two ends split apart with a 'SNAP' and inside is a stupid paper hat, some kind of novelty and really bad joke printed on a small piece of paper. It's kind of a cross between a fortune cookie, a wishbone and any other totally pointless object. It's a staple of a British Christmas... I'm not defending it, but I do miss them at Christmas-time. " .....inside is a stupid paper hat, some kind of novelty and really bad joke printed on a small piece of paper. It's kind of a cross between a fortune cookie, a wishbone and any other totally pointless object." Hehe...sounds kinda like...like.... A lot of posts we have here... Especially the ones I contribute too.... Now it all makes sense - sorta.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Ogh, I still don't get the pizza one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GentlemanJim Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 It would be more exciting with an M80 inside Sort of a red neck Cristmas cracker Brit....hope you have a nice Chrismas...even being so far from your first home Jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFD Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 I only know what a Christmas Cracker is because I've read the Harry Potter books. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dajarrel Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 Nuts magazine's top 10 worst Christmas cracker jokes.1. What is Santa's favourite pizza? One that's deep pan, crisp and even. ..... Are you implying that Santa loves ALL pizza's??? Merry Christmas to you sir. dj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spook Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 (edited) 11. How does Darth Vader know what Luke will get for Christmas? He felt his presents... Edited December 20, 2007 by spook Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 11. How does Darth Vader know what Luke will get for Christmas?He felt his presents... As long as it wasn't his package. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisStock Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 11. How does Darth Vader know what Luke will get for Christmas?He felt his presents... As long as it wasn't his package. BritinUSA, thanks for the clarification...one more piece of trivia to file away in the mental library..sounds like fun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spook Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 11. How does Darth Vader know what Luke will get for Christmas?He felt his presents... As long as it wasn't his package. while saying: "I'm your father". "The force is strong with this one...." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North Posted December 20, 2007 Share Posted December 20, 2007 11. How does Darth Vader know what Luke will get for Christmas?He felt his presents... As long as it wasn't his package. while saying: "I'm your father". "The force is strong with this one...." this is getting bad. Too funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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