Carlin on Aging

[Sam]

Yes, I actually searched to make sure this hadn't been posted before.

George Carlin's Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half; You're four and a half, going on five!

That's the key.

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13; but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk!: He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40.

Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE IT to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE IT to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you REACH 4:30; you MAKE IT to bedtime.

And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92!"

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little k id again. "I'm 100 and a half!"

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the

doctors worry about them. That is why you pay " them " .

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love. Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever; your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, even to a foreign country; but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them -- at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

[Run n Gun]

An oldie (like me) but still a goodie!

Ed

[dajarrel]

neat

[Merlin Orr]

You come up with some good stuff, Sam.

George is smarter than I gave him credit for.

[SiG Lady]

An older female associate of mine (some many years ago) said to me one day, "Hurry up and retire so you can do what you want." We were all working on a number of political campaigns at the time, and she was a retired ball-of-fire and busy as a bee--all the time... the campaign manager for a state senator in Washington State. She was a lot of fun to work with and set a great example for her generation.

Love the 1-to-10 list...!

[AikiDale]

I am doing my best to adhere to my mothers advice:

"Don't get old, it's the worst thing I've ever done!"

[Sam]

Does anyone else notice that you don't feel like you used to think you would feel when you got as old as you are? (did that make sense?)

I'm hitting.....turning.... making.... arriving at?, birthday #46 this month and I thought I would feel old by now. I don't know were the last 20 some-odd years went!

Today, I forgave a wrong that had been pissing me off for a couple of months. I was finally able to just say to myself, "Hey, this is life! Did you think you wouldn't get screwed?" The unexpected feeling of freedom that came over immediately aftward was a total rush! It just felt so sweet! And it came out of nowhere. It's not about pride, or money, or none of that ego stuff. Maybe that's where the last 20 some-odd years went.... Learning that.

[AikiDale]

I haven't changed a bit.

In keeping with the computer literate youngsters however I did adopt hexidecimal for computing my age as of last year. I found that to be less cumbersome than explaining it was the 30th anniversary of my 23rd birthday.

[BigDave]

Carlin, IMO, is one of the truely great philosophers of our modern times. Bill Hicks was another.

[geezer-lock]

Carlin knows and loves our language and uses it to show us who we really are.

My wonderful Mother-in-law always said that "getting old is not for sissies".

Me, I'm celebrating the 30th anniversary of my 30th birthday.

geezer

[tightloop]

Geezer

Hang tough...I am not far behind

[geezer-lock]

Steve Fossett, who is apparently 60 and a half, just finished his non-stop flight around the world. Makes me think that Master class might not be out of reach after all.

geezer

[spook]

Carlin, IMO, is one of the truely great philosophers of our modern times. Bill Hicks was another.

Definately

[Sam]

This is scary!

You know that wrong I wrote about forgiving in that last post. The very next day, out of the blue, it was righted. The whole circumstance of it just blew me away! Then today I get this in an e-mail from a friend working in Iraq.

So, I'm thinking......Is God speaking to me through Geore Carlin?

Anyway, I wanted to share it with you all.

GEORGE CARLIN (His wife recently died...)

Isn't it amazing that George Carlin - iconoclastic and

mouthy comedian of the 70's and 80's - could write

something so very eloquent .

A wonderful Message by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have

taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider

freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more,

but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have

bigger houses and smaller families, more

conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees

but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment,

more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but

less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too

recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get

too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read

too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our

values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate

too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.

We've added years to life not life to years. We've

been all the way to the moon and back, but have

trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.

We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've

done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.

We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We

write more, but learn less. We plan more, but

accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to

wait. We build more computers to hold more

information, to produce more copies than ever, but

we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow

digestion, big men and small character, steep

profits and shallow relationships. These are the

days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier

houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick

trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one

night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do

everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and

nothing in the stockroom A time when technology can

bring this letter to you, and a time when you can

choose either to share this insight, or to just hit

delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones,

because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to

you in awe, because that little person soon will

grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you,

because that is the only treasure you can give with

your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and

your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and

an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep

inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for

someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time

to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we

take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

If you don't send this to at least 8 people....who cares?

George Carlin

[Merlin Orr]

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get in the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus?

I think the life cycle is all backwards.

(1)

You should die first, you know, start out dead, get it out of the way. You wake up in a an old age home, feeling better every day.

(2)

You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

(3)

You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol,

you party, you're generally promiscuous (hey, you've only got a few years left, what's the big deal?!?) and you get ready for High School.

(4)

Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities,

and, finally, you become a baby;

(5)

The last step, you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully with luxuries like

central heating, spa, room service on tap, larger quarters everyday, and then

You finish off as an orgasm!

[AikiDale]

Yeah, yeah, then what....?

[Merlin Orr]

Then you just turn into a twinkle in someone's eye.....

[kevin c]

Yer right up there w/ Carlin, Merlin...

[tazmanofsteel]

I don't remember who sent this to me. I don't know who wrote it.

Sounds like something George would write.

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving

safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in

broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly

proclaiming... Wow! What a ride!'"