Dead Buff Posted October 6, 2004 Share Posted October 6, 2004 The Gospel According To John Moses Browning As translated from the original ancient manuscripts by Fr. Frog. © copyright 2002 by John C. Schaefer 1 In the beginning was the 1911, and the 1911 was THE pistol, and it was good. And behold the Lord said, thou shalt not muck with my disciple John's design for it is good and it worketh. For John made the 1911, and lo all of his weapons, from the designs which I, the Lord, gave him upon the mountain. 2 And shouldst thou muck with it and hang all manner of foul implements upon it, and profane its internal parts, thou shalt surely have malfunctions, and in the midst of battle thou shalt surely come to harm. 3 And as the ages passed men in their ignorance and arrogance didst forget the word of the Lord and began to profane the 1911. The tribe of the gamesman did place recoil spring guides and extended slide releases upon the 1911 and their metalsmiths didst tighten the tolerances and alter parts to their liking, their clearness of mind being clouded by lust. 4 Their artisans did hang all manner of foul implements upon the 1911 and did so alter it that it became impractical to purchase. For lo, the artisans didst charge a great tax upon the purchasers of the 1911 so that the lowly field worker could not afford one. And the profaning of the internal parts didst render it unworkable when the dust of the land fell upon it. 5 And lo, they didst install adjustable sights, which are an abomination unto the Lord. For they doth break and lose their zero when thou dost need true aim. And those who have done so will be slain in great numbers by their enemies in the great battle. 6 And it came to pass that the Lord didst see the abomination wrought by man and didst cause, as he had warned, fearful malfunctions to come upon the abominations and upon the artisans who thought they could do no wrong. 7 Seeing the malfunctions and the confusion of men, the lord of the underworld did see an opportunity to further ensnare man and didst bring forth pistols made of plastic, whose form was such that they looked and felt like a brick, yet the eyes of man being clouded, they were consumed by the plastic pistol and did buy vast quantities of them. 8 And being a deceitful spirit, the lord of the underworld did make these plastic pistols unamenable to the artisans of earth and they were unable to muck much with the design, and lo these pistols did function. 9 And the evil one also brought forth pistols in which the trigger didst both cock and fire them and which require a "dingus" to make them appear safe. 10 But man being stupid did not understand these new pistols and did proceed to shoot themselves with the plastic pistol, and with the trigger cocking pistols for lo their manual of arms required great intelligence which man had long since forsaken. Yet man continued to gloat over these new pistols blaming evil forces for the negligent discharges which they themselves had committed. 11 And when man had been totally ensnared with the plastic pistol, the lord of the underworld didst cause a plague of the terrible Ka-Boom to descend upon man and the plastic pistols delivered their retribution upon men. And there was a great wailing and gnashing of teeth in the land. 12 Then seeing that the eyes of man were slowly being opened and that man was truly sorrowful for his sinful misdeeds, the Lord did send his messengers in the form of artisans who did hear and obey the teachings of the prophet and who didst restore the profaned 1911s to their proper configuration, and lo, to the amazement of men they didst begin to work as the prophet had intended. 13 And the men of the land didst drive out the charlatans and profaners from the land, and there was joy and peace in the land, except for the evil sprits which tried occasionally to prey on the men and women of the land and who were sent to the place of eternal damnation by the followers of John. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- a Several old manuscripts add the following text. "And they [also rendered as "these men"] didst chamber it for cartridges whose calibers starteth with numbers less than the Holy Number 4. And lo the Lord did cause great grief amongst these men when their enemies who were struck in battle with these lesser numbers didst not fall but did continue to cause great harm." b or Hell -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://home.sprynet.com/~frfrog/jmb.htm]See here for full details[/url] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skywalker Posted October 6, 2004 Share Posted October 6, 2004 "...tu quoque, Brute, fili mihi..." http://www.brianenos.com/forums/index.php?...ndpost&p=120441 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dead Buff Posted October 6, 2004 Author Share Posted October 6, 2004 I searched for the incorrect words...please close, merge, delete...and oh yes...kick my butt.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skywalker Posted October 6, 2004 Share Posted October 6, 2004 ...and oh yes...kick my butt.... ...unless you can provide correct quoting for the phrase I cited. You need to quote: - Correct english translation - Author - Place - Day - Situation in which the phrase was spoken - Person towards whom the phrase was directed P.S. no google search allowed... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dead Buff Posted October 6, 2004 Author Share Posted October 6, 2004 You too, Brutus, my son! William Shakespeare Ides of March 15 March 44BC Julius Caesar's murder Brutus It is highly unlikely that Julius spoke these words, and if, he would have used the Greek terminology, which was the preferred language of the Roman elite. In that case he would have said "Kai su, teknon" - "you too, my child" No, was not google..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skywalker Posted October 6, 2004 Share Posted October 6, 2004 Almost correct on all accounts, good knowledge. You only made a very minor imprecision: Ides of March is the same as 15 March. The place was Pompeo's Curia, near Pompeo's theater, since the planned Senate meeting was moved from Senate proper courtroom to Pompeo's Curia to better conceal the conspiracy: Caesar feared that meeting, and intended to cancel it (because not attending it would have been considered a big offense to the senators), but when he was told the meeting was going to be held in Pompeo's Curia he decided to attend. Now that we have totally drifted the post, moderators please nuke it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dead Buff Posted October 6, 2004 Author Share Posted October 6, 2004 Thanx for pointing out my slip...and the history lesson.... ---------- Bombs Away!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted October 6, 2004 Share Posted October 6, 2004 Meanwhile... That was SO cool!!! At 0658 it was a GREAT way to start the day!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBF Posted October 6, 2004 Share Posted October 6, 2004 Thou shalt ask thyself, prior to defiling of the sacred steel , " WWJMBD? ". What Would John Moses Browning Do ? Travis F. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted October 6, 2004 Share Posted October 6, 2004 Probably the same as Jimmy Buffet and some others, It's 5 oclock somewhere..head out to Margueritaville... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diehli Posted October 6, 2004 Share Posted October 6, 2004 WWJMBD for a Klondike bar? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErikW Posted October 6, 2004 Share Posted October 6, 2004 And lo, they didst install adjustable sights, which are an abomination Amen! Preach on, brother. Many an adjustable sight died for our sins. Testify! No nuking of the thread drift because Shakespeare and Caesar is a really cool drift. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DVC247 Posted October 6, 2004 Share Posted October 6, 2004 I personally live by WWJCD..........JC of course being Jeff Cooper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted October 7, 2004 Share Posted October 7, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AikiDale Posted October 7, 2004 Share Posted October 7, 2004 I personally live by WWJCD..........JC of course being Jeff Cooper Whatever he did it would be from the Weaver stance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dead Buff Posted October 7, 2004 Author Share Posted October 7, 2004 I personally live by WWJCD..........JC of course being Jeff Cooper Whatever he did it would be from the Weaver stance. With his finger on the trigger while sweeping his weak hand during the draw...otherwise he's a generally good guy.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gm iprod Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 Whom ever you follow, why is it some time we have to think WTFHIDN. What The F$%# Have I Done Now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
38superman Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 You too, Brutus, my son!William Shakespeare Ides of March 15 March 44BC Julius Caesar's murder Brutus It is highly unlikely that Julius spoke these words, and if, he would have used the Greek terminology, which was the preferred language of the Roman elite. In that case he would have said "Kai su, teknon" - "you too, my child" No, was not google..... I'm impressed. Now translate it into Klingon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry White Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 I still say that if John could see my Benny gun he would smack hisself in the forehead and say why in the hell didnt we do it that way to start with.-------------Larry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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