back to the op, I hav been wondering this myself- with help from my new girlfriend. Why? What drives me to constantly think about it and ways to improve? I'm getting to the point now where the constant pressure it puts me under isn't ggod. My job does that enough. I don't really have any down time. I did hav an evening of dry fire the other night that was amazing. I was sick with a cold and had a little antihistamine in me so I was calmer and more relaxed than usual. I got to a point where I could sense the present so well. Not half a second earlier or later. If I moved my focus just the slightest bit things didn't go perfectly. Recently I hav once again thought about quitting and doing something the whole family can take part in. This is supposed to b a hobby and fun. I can tell u though that I love it and the shooters. Even if I don't know them. They r the best group of people I hav ever been around and if I quit, I will miss both. For me, I like to run that perfect stage, beating my friends when they do there best and chasing the "Majestic spark of excellence." I wish you all well.