zhunter Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia,formerly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the AmericanTerritory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon). ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 85-years, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. (Hummmmmmmmm) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals, violates their civil rights. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Micah Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 Poor France...nobody ever expects the Jamaican Iquisition! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nvmichael Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029 Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped. Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica . No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation! Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.. 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs. Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba. Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States .. Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.. Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches with only 3 illegitimate children. New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.. IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.. Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Keen Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 I laughed my arse off when I read some of these. This is my favorite one: 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. I also like the one about Castro & Chelsea Clinton! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
outerlimits Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 i'm guessing this will be shut down soon. if we can't talk about california and gun laws, this is done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Miles Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 At the rate things are going those may very well be the headlines for 2020! Cya, Pat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoSteel Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 If the end of the world is coming in 2012 not sure how any of this is going to happen.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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