ChrisStock Posted April 9, 2008 Share Posted April 9, 2008 A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his crotch, the bar tender asks ' doesn't that hurt?, the pirate says "ARRRRRRRRRRRRR - it drives me nuts"! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GentlemanJim Posted April 9, 2008 Share Posted April 9, 2008 Giggle Jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawn Knight Posted April 9, 2008 Share Posted April 9, 2008 What's a pirate's favorite socks? Arrrrgyle. What does a pirate think happens at the end of time? Arrrrmageddon. What's a pirate's favorite food? Arrrrrtichokes. What's a pirate's favorite basketball move? Jump hook. How do pirates make their money? By hook or by crook. Why do pirates make excellent fishermen? They know how to hook the big ones. Where do pirates find their birds? Parrots Without Partners. Did you hear about the pirate's parrot that fell in love with a duck? The bird kept saying, "Polly wants a quacker". Why couldn't the young pirate see the R-rated movie? There was no parrot-al guidance. Why should pirates work for FedEx? They have the fastest ships in the shipping business. What's it called when a pirate's sloop runs aground? It's ship out of luck. Why don't pirates use a safe deposit box? They put their valuables in Davy Jones' Locker. Who's the pirate's favorite actress? Diane Cannon. Why did the pirate refuse to say, "Aye, Aye, Captain"? Because he's only got one eye. What's the pirate's favorite restaurant? Trick question because it's either Jolly Roger or Long John Silver's. How could the pirate acquire the ship so cheaply? Because it was on sail. Why did the pirate not learn how to bowl? He had a severe hook. Who was the pirate's favorite musician? Carlos Bandana. Why couldn't the pirate stop thinking about sailing? He had ship for brains. What has 12 arms, 12 legs and 12 eyes? A dozen pirates. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingchange Posted April 9, 2008 Share Posted April 9, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bwana Six-Gun Posted April 9, 2008 Share Posted April 9, 2008 What's a pirate's favorite socks? Arrrrgyle.What does a pirate think happens at the end of time? Arrrrmageddon. What's a pirate's favorite food? Arrrrrtichokes. What's a pirate's favorite basketball move? Jump hook. How do pirates make their money? By hook or by crook. Why do pirates make excellent fishermen? They know how to hook the big ones. Where do pirates find their birds? Parrots Without Partners. Did you hear about the pirate's parrot that fell in love with a duck? The bird kept saying, "Polly wants a quacker". Why couldn't the young pirate see the R-rated movie? There was no parrot-al guidance. Why should pirates work for FedEx? They have the fastest ships in the shipping business. What's it called when a pirate's sloop runs aground? It's ship out of luck. Why don't pirates use a safe deposit box? They put their valuables in Davy Jones' Locker. Who's the pirate's favorite actress? Diane Cannon. Why did the pirate refuse to say, "Aye, Aye, Captain"? Because he's only got one eye. What's the pirate's favorite restaurant? Trick question because it's either Jolly Roger or Long John Silver's. How could the pirate acquire the ship so cheaply? Because it was on sail. Why did the pirate not learn how to bowl? He had a severe hook. Who was the pirate's favorite musician? Carlos Bandana. Why couldn't the pirate stop thinking about sailing? He had ship for brains. What has 12 arms, 12 legs and 12 eyes? A dozen pirates. Tooooo muxh time on your hands. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawn Knight Posted April 9, 2008 Share Posted April 9, 2008 Tooooo muxh time on your hands. Of course I do! I am at work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gm iprod Posted April 9, 2008 Share Posted April 9, 2008 What has 11 eyes, 9 legs and 22 teeth??? The front row at a Willy Nelson Concert Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-Ho Posted April 9, 2008 Share Posted April 9, 2008 What has 11 eyes, 9 legs and 22 teeth???The front row at a Willy Nelson Concert HA HA HA. You're definitely not from around here. 22 teeth, there's no way you will find that many. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoshF Posted April 9, 2008 Share Posted April 9, 2008 Slight variation of my favorite "Quickie" joke!! A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants and orders a drink. Bartender says 'Sure, but just one question. What's with the steering wheel?" Pirate says "AAaaaarg, it's driving me nuts!" A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his crotch, the bar tender asks ' doesn't that hurt?, the pirate says "ARRRRRRRRRRRRR - it drives me nuts"! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gm iprod Posted April 10, 2008 Share Posted April 10, 2008 J-Ho How can you be so sure, according to you it's 42 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murkish Posted April 10, 2008 Share Posted April 10, 2008 How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook? An arm and a leg! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punkin Chunker Posted April 10, 2008 Share Posted April 10, 2008 How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook?An arm and a leg! Why do you choose to be a pirate? You don't choose -- you either arrrrrgh or arrrrgh not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nashvillebill Posted April 10, 2008 Share Posted April 10, 2008 Pirate's eye chart? I R I R I R Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin c Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 Gee, it's not even Talk Like a Pirate Day.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punkin Chunker Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 (edited) Hey -- shouldn't that be an arrgh-onomic keyboard? Sorry -- now this is like one of those songs that you can't get out of your head, like McCartney's "Admiral Halsey". Edited April 11, 2008 by Punkin Chunker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-Ho Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 J-HoHow can you be so sure, according to you it's 42 Did you look to see were I'm from? How many times has Willie Nelson been to New Zealand? I have seen the front row at a Willie Nelson concert. Plenty of teeth, plenty of arms, plenty of legs. Plenty of left handed cigarettes too. The answer is 42. You just haven't asked the right question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyinBlue Posted April 12, 2008 Share Posted April 12, 2008 A pirate and his parrot, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a valiant battle. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, the pirate stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a Genie came forth. This particular Genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving any thought to the matter the pirate blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into rum!" The Genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest rum ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the Genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of rum on the hull broke the stillness as the two considered their circumstances The parrot looked disgustedly at the pirate and after a tension-filled moment spoke: "Now yee've done it!! Now we're goon to have to pee in the boat!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawn Knight Posted April 12, 2008 Share Posted April 12, 2008 EEEEWWWW!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul Santiago Posted April 12, 2008 Share Posted April 12, 2008 A pirate and his parrot, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a valiant battle. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, the pirate stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a Genie came forth. This particular Genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving any thought to the matter the pirate blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into rum!" The Genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest rum ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the Genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of rum on the hull broke the stillness as the two considered their circumstancesThe parrot looked disgustedly at the pirate and after a tension-filled moment spoke: "Now yee've done it!! Now we're goon to have to pee in the boat!" a small thing to suffer with for good rum.... arrrrrrrrrgh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gm iprod Posted April 12, 2008 Share Posted April 12, 2008 Did you look to see were I'm from? How many times has Willie Nelson been to New Zealand? Plenty of left handed cigarettes too. Twice as far as I can figure. But that info it appears is somewhat fuzzy from the LH smoke. We grow some pretty good shjt here. So if he did come he would know. maybe? I have seen the front row at a Willie Nelson concert. Plenty of teeth, plenty of arms, plenty of legs. If you were there are you really sure that's what you saw????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chirpy Posted April 22, 2008 Share Posted April 22, 2008 A pirate limped into the bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The Bartender asked "Where did you get that ugly thing?" The Parrot said "Well, it started out as a wart on the bottom of my foot!" Arrrrrgh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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