SiG Lady Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 I had second thoughts about posting that, but posted it anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BSeevers Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 Man I'll give the younger ones a break but the rest of you got women figured out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimmyZip Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 Ok, I understand and have memorised items 1-30.... So how come I still can't get a date ? Though most will deny it, it's because nice guys finish last, and the prettier women are, the more they hate nice. I like the rules from "School for Scoundrels" better: 1 - Be dangerous; it's cool 2 - No compliments, EVER!!! 3 - Always get the girl alone (separate the prey from the herd) 4 - Wherever you are, the place is lame! 5 - Relate to her 6 - Lie, lie, and lie some more I was like this for some time, (except #6) and this got me married with children. Then I realized I was an as%&*^e, and that if I complimented her she might respond in kind. Well , it worked. i think my love life after 13 years of marriage is better than ever, and we are more friendly to eachother than ever. Not easy, but possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badchad Posted September 26, 2009 Share Posted September 26, 2009 I was like this for some time, (except #6) and this got me married with children. See how good it worked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skjold Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 (edited) ...and sometimes you have to realize your girlfriend you have been with the last 5 years is not the "right one". Well, sh#t happens... Edit: Just as "happend to me" ~7 hours ago (as a matter of fact, we both made this decision. Although I should had made this decision 3 years ago - I did not wanted this to be real... my fault...). O.K. a lot of other stuff has happend before that, so I'm not really sad of this... Edited October 7, 2009 by Skjold Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DyNo! Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Stolen from my girlfriend's cousin's blog.30 THINGS GUYS SHOULD KNOW ABOUT GIRLS: 4. Never miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful. (EPIC FAILURE) 6. If they slap you hard, you deserved it. 12. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts, and a really pretty ring. Even if it's not a serious relationship. 16. Never, ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back. 17. Go to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went. 24. If they complain that something hurts, rub it for them without being asked. (EPIC FAILURE) I call bull! 1 - Be dangerous; it's cool2 - No compliments, EVER!!! 3 - Always get the girl alone (separate the prey from the herd) 4 - Wherever you are, the place is lame! 5 - Relate to her 6 - Lie, lie, and lie some more I too like these rules. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badchad Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 ...and sometimes you have to realize your girlfriend you have been with the last 5 years is not the "right one". Just be happy that you didn't marry her when you thought she might be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miranda Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 Man I'll give the younger ones a break but the rest of you got women figured out? I can't resist.... If you want to know women, you need to get interested in women. miranda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-JQ- Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 #12 is all wrong...I don't want a cute, little, stuffed animal. When I was single, the only stuffed animal I'd even consider would be a taxidermied one that either you or I bagged on the hunting trip we went on! The sweatshirt I might consider keeping if it doesn't have beer or pizza stains. And a ring? Sure why not, I can always pawn it and buy another gun if "we" don't work out! BTW, #28 - yup pawning those to buy components. Just save the extra step and buy me bullets! :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1911onr Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Saw this on the internet a while ago. Time to bring it back. Enjoy. MEN'S RULES FOR WOMEN We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! (Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!) 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, and you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows', default settings. Peach, for example; is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or trucks. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
entropic Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Hysterical...Especially #1! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 They're all rather strangely logical... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skjold Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 (edited) ...and sometimes you have to realize your girlfriend you have been with the last 5 years is not the "right one". Just be happy that you didn't marry her when you thought she might be. You can't imagine what happy I am The best thing on this story: Only a few months ago, SHE startet talking about marriage... some days later, we had a little discussion about *I don't know it any more* which turned into a hot dispute, and during this dispute I said to her, I would only marry her only to be able to get divorced from her... Well, sometimes things happens in another way you thougt they would do... Edited October 13, 2009 by Skjold Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveU Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 during this dispute I said to her, I would only marry her only to be able to get divorced from her... Could probably use a little work on the de-escalation chapter of conflict resolution.... :roflol: Having said that, sounds like the desired outcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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