dajarrel Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 Recently, a large corporation hired several cannibals to increase their diversity, "You are all part of our team now", said the HR rep during the welcoming briefing. "You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but DON'T eat any employees." The cannibals promised they would not. Four weeks later their boss remarked, "You're all working very hard and I'm satisfied with your work. We have noticed a marked increase in the whole company's performance. However, one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?" The cannibals all shook their heads "No." After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, "Which one of you idiots ate the secretary?" A hand rose hesitantly. "You fool!" the leader continued. "For four weeks we've been eating managers and no one noticed anything. But now you have to go and eat someone who actually does something." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GentlemanJim Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 How true how true Jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawn Knight Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 What's a manager? Is that like that guy that constantly asks me when I am going to be finished with my work, so that every 5 min I have to stop my work so I can tell him why I am not progressing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MichiganShootist Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 Pre-retirement... I had a favorite phrase. You can lead a horse to water.... but you can't manage him to drink! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bear23 Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 Do managers taste like chicken? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AShots Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 Ohhh...that was a good one! (Yeah, I'm a secretary) Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted April 12, 2007 Share Posted April 12, 2007 As an intermittent 'secretary' (among other things) for years and years, it's really scary how many "managers" don't know how to run photocopiers, fax machines, certain softwares, telephones and dumb things like that. Gah, I remember when the mass-quantities-of-features new copier arrived at the office one day (remember those civil engineers I used to work for?)... Well, guess who leaped in and learned most of its features then taught them to everyone else??!! Right. The underpaid secretary. I shoulda charged those double-digit technician's fees. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Micah Posted April 13, 2007 Share Posted April 13, 2007 As an intermittent 'secretary' (among other things) for years and years, it's really scary how many "managers" don't know how to run photocopiers, fax machines, certain softwares, telephones and dumb things like that. Gah, I remember when the mass-quantities-of-features new copier arrived at the office one day (remember those civil engineers I used to work for?)... Well, guess who leaped in and learned most of its features then taught them to everyone else??!! Right. The underpaid secretary. I shoulda charged those double-digit technician's fees. This is so true! I'm interviewing for jobs at the moment, and memorizing the secretaries names. My wife asked me why it mattered, and I told her "The secretary is the central nervous system of any organization. Plus, if you piss 'em off, they'll toss your resume " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flexmoney Posted April 13, 2007 Share Posted April 13, 2007 What's a manager?Is that like that guy that constantly asks me when I am going to be finished with my work, so that every 5 min I have to stop my work so I can tell him why I am not progressing? New SMSgt ??...Nah...sounds more like a Captain ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toowide Posted April 13, 2007 Share Posted April 13, 2007 Two cannibals are having dinner. One looks at the other and says "Man I hate my mother-in-law." The other one looks back and says, "Then just eat the noodles." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackdragon Posted April 13, 2007 Share Posted April 13, 2007 Ivan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawn Knight Posted April 13, 2007 Share Posted April 13, 2007 (edited) What's a manager? Is that like that guy that constantly asks me when I am going to be finished with my work, so that every 5 min I have to stop my work so I can tell him why I am not progressing? New SMSgt ??...Nah...sounds more like a Captain ? Nope you got it! MSgts and SMSgts! Captains kind of shut up and color! Edited April 13, 2007 by theknightoflight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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