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Osama's Note Sent To His Cavemates


lynn jones

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:) Osama's Note Sent to His Cavemates

Hi guys.

We've all been putting in long hours but we've really come together as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster that says "There is no I in team" as well as the one that says "Hang In There, Baby." That cat is hilarious. However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave. And frankly I have a few concerns.

First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the scorpions in our cave. Hey, you don't want to be stung and neither do I, so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've posted a sign-up sheet near the main cave opening.

Second, it's not often that I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare the most powerful country on earth, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background. Just while we're taping. Thanks.

Third point, and this is a touchy one. As you know, by edict, we're not supposed to shave our beards. But I need everyone to just think hygiene, especially after mealtime. We're all in this together.

Fourth: food. I bought a box of Cheez-Its recently, clearly wrote "Osama" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, my Cheez-Its were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.

Finally, we've heard that there may be American soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammed, Abdul, Akbar, and Richard.

Love you lots.

Osama

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I am waiting for the following post from Osama:

"As you know the infidel Hellfire missle attack yesterday came dangerously close.

After the smoke cleared, I noted a few items missing and would like them returned.

If anyone finds my left ear, three toes from my right foot or the Bin Laden family jewels, please return them promptly."

Osama

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"DEAR RECEIVER,

You have just received a Taliban virus. Since we are not so technologically advanced in Afghanistan, this is a MANUAL virus. Please delete all the files on you hard disk yourself and send this mail to everyone you know.

Thank you very much for helping me.

Chief Hacker

Taliban"

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I am waiting for the following post from Osama:

"As you know the infidel Hellfire missle attack yesterday came dangerously close.

After the smoke cleared, I noted a few items missing and would like them returned.

If anyone finds my left ear, three toes from my right foot or the Bin Laden family jewels, please return them promptly."

Osama

Excellent!

You might add to your list his top lieutenant and 2/3 of his advisors.... ;)

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