chefcs5 Posted January 26, 2010 Share Posted January 26, 2010 You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on... If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this: COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou. ABBOTT: Your computer? COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou. ABBOTT: What about Windows? COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here? ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows? COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows? ABBOTT: Wallpaper. COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software. ABBOTT: Software for Windows? COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything? ABBOTT: I just did. COSTELLO: You just did what? ABBOTT: Recommend something. COSTELLO: You recommended something? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: For my office? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yes, for my office! ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows. COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need? ABBOTT: Word. COSTELLO: What word? ABBOTT: Word in Office. COSTELLO: The only word in office is office. ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows. COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows? ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'. COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: I need money to track my money? ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer. COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer? ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge. COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much? ABBOTT: One copy. COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money? ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money. COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money? ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT! (A few days later) ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off? ABBOTT: Click on 'START'............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
High Lord Gomer Posted January 26, 2010 Share Posted January 26, 2010 WHO ARE YOU CALLING OLD?!? ...and GET OFF MY LAWN! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meotai Posted January 26, 2010 Share Posted January 26, 2010 lol Epic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3quartertime Posted January 26, 2010 Share Posted January 26, 2010 Funny. Moved to Humor forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chefcs5 Posted January 26, 2010 Author Share Posted January 26, 2010 crap sorry about that I didnt even realize we had a humor forum..lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Graham Smith Posted January 26, 2010 Share Posted January 26, 2010 (edited) It's both funny and true. I've had conversations a lot like this over the years. And have been on both ends. My sig line on the computer forum I host reads as follows: "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.", Arthur C. Clarke (1917 - 2008) The corollary to that is that "All technical jargon sounds like gibberish to those who don't speak it." Which reminds me of a sign I had on one of the first office "computers" I worked on somewhere around 1983: ACHTUNG! ALLES LOOKENSPEEPERS! Das computermachine ist nicht fuer gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und poppencorken mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fuer gewerken bei das dumpkopfen. Das rubbernecken sichtseeren keepen das cotten-pickenen hans in das pockets muss; relaxen und watchen das blinkenlichten. Edited January 26, 2010 by Graham Smith Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SLM Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 It's both funny and true. I've had conversations a lot like this over the years. And have been on both ends. My sig line on the computer forum I host reads as follows: "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.", Arthur C. Clarke (1917 - 2008) The corollary to that is that "All technical jargon sounds like gibberish to those who don't speak it." Which reminds me of a sign I had on one of the first office "computers" I worked on somewhere around 1983: ACHTUNG! ALLES LOOKENSPEEPERS! Das computermachine ist nicht fuer gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und poppencorken mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fuer gewerken bei das dumpkopfen. Das rubbernecken sichtseeren keepen das cotten-pickenen hans in das pockets muss; relaxen und watchen das blinkenlichten. Well, Google translate kinda pukes on that... WARNING! EVERYTHING LOOKENSPEEPERS! The computer machine is not for gefingerpoken and mittengrabben. Is easy grab lace Sparken the spring factory, blowenfusen and poppencorken with. Is not gewerken for dumpkopfen at that. The Keep the rubber corners sichtseeren Cotten hans-picker into the pockets must, relax and watch the blinking light. I like the rubber corners, spring factory and the blinking light! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kp110477 Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 I LOVED Abbott and Costello... I was born in 82. I had a stack of cassette tapes and CD's... has anyone heard Andy Griffith's (sp?) take on football? My Papa has the vinyl still and we listen to it often. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slip knot Posted April 7, 2010 Share Posted April 7, 2010 I thought that it would never end......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corey Posted April 7, 2010 Share Posted April 7, 2010 oh, that was great! the baseball skit sill kills me when i watch it. this would be a good one too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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