Barrettone Posted December 26, 2006 Share Posted December 26, 2006 (edited) Good Gawd!!! I need to get some stock in friggin' Energizer and Duracell. I must've put together 50 toys today for the young-ins today for cryin' out loud. Everything had those damn coated wires holdin' the package together, and I think my poor Leatherman is still smokin' from all the activity. I couldn't assemble the crap fast enough. 3 boys sure can keep you busy when you have grandparents that are downright dangerous with a Visa card. I think all my "friends" must have a contest to see who can buy the most noisy, obnoxious toy on the market to keep me up at night (they secretly meet every Wednesday night at 7pm ). As if the razor-sharp Legos between the toes in the middle of the night don't cause me enough pain and aggrevation...I need sound effects to drive home the fact that I have 3 little terrorists in my midst (ages 3, 6 and 8). My "friends" don't need to give them any assistance...they do just fine on their own. Mrs. Barrettone is already a candidate for sainthood. I have a full week off work ahead of me to hear these contaptions all run until their tormentors relegate them to that blackhole of an abyss known as the "toy box". I think Jimmy Hoffa is in there somewhere. The youngest one who I affectionately refer to as "Little Azziz" likes to peg me with nerf rockets out of a gun that lights up. ("death to the infidel!" insert native aribic war cry here). The middle child, Abdul-sheik-Hassad, prefers the "electric squirtgun water torture technique" to soften up his adversary, and the oldest, Hassan Al-Shamir tends to go with "death-by-spiderman web"...an infernal contraption that launches silly string from some kind of wristband with a strobe effect. Since a lot of my friends are single, I can only assume that they think this crap is "cute". I am therefore declaring economic Jihad on all those that have contributed to my pain and sufferring in this and all past holiday seasons. I will now only purchase them items that will prove to be a future liability. Like an X-Box game when they don't even have an X-box (no receipt of course), or a nominal gift certificate to say...Para for 40% off, or even a free parking pass to a Red Wings hockey game...with no tickets to the game. Maybe a beer-of-the-month club, and they have to pay the shipping, or a 99-cent subscription to the Military book club with 4 future purchases at regular club prices required on their part. I will get satisfaction due to their vengeful acts. Lest they be smitten with children themselves and I can return the favor, I have no other choice. The Holy War has begun... Embattled (But Gosh I love 'em...little beggars) Edited December 26, 2006 by Barrettone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hitman Posted December 26, 2006 Share Posted December 26, 2006 You will miss it. It will take many many years but you will remember it fondly. Good luck, keep your helmet on and be prepared to fire back (situational awarness). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dajarrel Posted December 26, 2006 Share Posted December 26, 2006 Yeah, What hitman said. When they get grown, you will miss the assaults!!!! OBTW, don't forget the 360 degree threat scan. Them little buggers can slip up on ya when you least expect it. Merry Christmas dj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhgtyre Posted December 26, 2006 Share Posted December 26, 2006 I have fond memories of buying my nephew (with ADHD) who, at the time, was 5 years old the battery powered sword and gun complete with flashing lights and sound effects. He would fire them both up and run around in his parents apartment screaming "SWORD AND GUN, SWORD AND GUN!!!!!!!!!!!!" while tying to demolish his parents and baby sister. Even though his mother is a good Catholic I am pretty certain she has attempted to hire out my execution. Sword and gun were both quite mysteriously crushed into microscopic fragments. I just found out that my nephew, who is now 12, has taken up an interest in wood working. Time to check out the Sears catalog..... -ld Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bountyhunter Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 I feel your pain..... I did it to myself. I bought an aftermarket cold air induction system for my Chevy from Weapon-R and it was supposed to be a BOLT ON.... First day: much cussing and grimacing, ended bny replacing all the stock parts. Second day: armed with learned knowledge, managed to get it on..... with only about five hours of work to install this "20 minute" kit. Oh, well..... and the punch line is I have to take it all off and put all the stock parts on next september when I have to get it smog tested.... I think all my "friends" must have a contest to see who can buy the most noisy, obnoxious toy on the market to keep me up at night My five year old nephew got this toy plane for Xmas one year that made loud jet engine sounds and threw sparks when he rolled it's wheels on the floor.... which he did up and down the hallway outside my bedroom door starting at 4AM every day thereafter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3quartertime Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 Great post Barrettone! Mine are a bit older, but its fun to remember those dayz... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gameplayer Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 Our first Christmas that I didn't have to assemble anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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