joad58_847 Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 Being a good Parent is a lot like being a good commanding offocer. Everything I know about Parenting was given form by Mel Gibson's movie "We were Soldiers Once". Go rent it it and watch it. But, turn the sound off! Don't listen to what Mel Gibson as Hal Moore says, look at what he does. A Good Commander is: !. Visable. You do not appear at morning formation yell and threaten, then dissapear to the golf course and O club for the rest of the day. You are there, in the motor pool, mess hall, rifle range, where ever your troops are, so are you. Up front. 2. Involved. You are a part of what is happening, not an observer. You know who the people are. Not just Company Commanders and 1st Sgts., but as may people as your memory can hold. That includes B company's Duty Sgt. as well as C companys vechicle dispatcher. 3. Knowledge-able . It isn't your job to do everybodies job, but to know what it is. When my 16 year old mentions '8 Mile' I know what she means. When my 19 year old mentions ' Full Metal Alchemist' I know what she's talking about. So there it is. Joad's opinion on Parenting. First in, last out, Sir! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bountyhunter Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 (edited) Being a good Parent is a lot like being a good commanding offocer. Everything I know about Parenting was given form by Mel Gibson's movie "We were Soldiers Once". Go rent it it and watch it. But, turn the sound off! Don't listen to what Mel Gibson as Hal Moore says, look at what he does. A Good Commander is:!. Visable. You do not appear at morning formation yell and threaten, then dissapear to the golf course and O club for the rest of the day. You are there, in the motor pool, mess hall, rifle range, where ever your troops are, so are you. Up front. 2. Involved. You are a part of what is happening, not an observer. You know who the people are. Not just Company Commanders and 1st Sgts., but as may people as your memory can hold. That includes B company's Duty Sgt. as well as C companys vechicle dispatcher. 3. Knowledge-able . It isn't your job to do everybodies job, but to know what it is. When my 16 year old mentions '8 Mile' I know what she means. When my 19 year old mentions ' Full Metal Alchemist' I know what she's talking about. So there it is. Joad's opinion on Parenting. First in, last out, Sir! Yep, I saw a GREAT example of what not to do raising kids last Sunday visiting the In-Laws.... ERIC: "Daddy! Ethan's going to jump off the counch!" DADDY: "ETHAN! If you jump, daddy will be very angry!" Thump, clunk, crash....... WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! daddy does nothing. All remote control parenting from across the room followed by zero action. The Great Corn Dog Crisis We went out to eat....... and the kid had to have crayons. hand a three-year old a glass with 20 crayons in it.... and he will throw them on the floor. Daddy will pick them up and give them back...... process repeats itself........ hard to tell which one was the stupider of the two? Order food: Ethan won't eat real food, so they order him a corn dog. It arrives, he bites it..... WAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Who knew? Something cooked by dipping it into sclading oil for five minutes would be HOT? No problem, I go to slice it so the inside will cool.... ETHAN DOESN'T LIKE HIS CORN DOG CUT! Ethan still crying, daddy picks up the corn dog and blows on it...... ETHAN cries louder, demanding MOMMY blow on it...... She walks down from the other end of the table, and now two adults are holding a corn dog ten inches in front of a three year old and blowing like crazy...... I wish I had a video camera! Eventually, it cools and Ethan "eats" it..... actually consuming nothing....... he gnaws at the fried coating until it is a pile of gooey filth on the table, but he now has a naked hot dog on a stick which he proceeds to thrust into the air in various directions like a sword. I still think child abuse is wrong, but I definitely have more sympathy............ Edited June 27, 2006 by bountyhunter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 bountyhunter the kid needed the seat of his pants warmed to the temperature of the corn dog...then he would have at least had something to really cry about... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bountyhunter Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 bountyhunterthe kid needed the seat of his pants warmed to the temperature of the corn dog...then he would have at least had something to really cry about... I like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j2fast Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 (edited) bountyhunterthe kid needed the seat of his pants warmed to the temperature of the corn dog...then he would have at least had something to really cry about... Kind of like the dad and young boy my wife and I shared and elevator with in Vegas the last time out. We're already on the elevator when dad and son get on (around the 14th or 15th floor), son then begins to push EVERY button for every floor. About half way through the button pushing with dad igoring the boy and us by just starring straight ahead my wife says "oh honey, stop that please". The boy stops, dad looks at my wife and she replies "that was hard" (i.e. telling the kid to stop). At the next floor another elevator across from ours and we jump ship to one that's not stopping 8 more times on the way down. That's a great reference joad, maybe I'll recomend that movie to the next moron parent I see. It shouldn't be a long wait.... Edited June 28, 2006 by j2fast Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray_Z Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 I don't know how old your children are but when mine turned 12 they hated everybody, even themselves. Nothing was fair. And even if we explained why they couldn't go to they're new friends house,"that was just arrested last week", we were bad parents. My dear old dad passed away with more hair than I have now. I always looked forward to coming home from work. My lovely wife would meet me at the door with, "DO YOU KNOW WHAT THOSE TWO BOYS DID TODAY?" Then another hand full of hair came out. Ray Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 It isn't about them liking you...it is about being a role model for them and helping them to learn to make the best decisions they can...then they will love you even if they don't like you...works out in the end.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 What tightloop said about "role model." Definitely. That's it in a nutshell... and that's nearly all you need (other than the occasional healthy dose of whoop-ass early on). I had no valid role models as a youngster so it took a long time to get the hell out and FIND outside role models (which I eventually did), and I then ended up being a role model for others in similar positions. A day doesn't go by when I don't learn something new and try to pass it along to a friend or associate. I'm still frantically trying to make up for the deficit I felt as a youngster. We can be a role model to anyone, anytime at any age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nik Habicht Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 It isn't about them liking you...it is about being a role model for them and helping them to learn to make the best decisions they can...then they will love you even if they don't like you...works out in the end.. I have one minor quibble with that: It can't be about them liking you or your decisions "every minute of every day." You're the adult, act like it ---- that means making and enforcing the right decisions, even the ones that'll make you unpopular for a while. Carol's youngest hated me for the last 5.5 years he lived with us ---- but he's figured out the why behind my decisions since he moved out in 2001. And he's figured out that I always told him the truth ---- even when he didn't want to hear it or couldn't deal with the implications. He was a troubled kid, circling the drain when he moved in with us, he's a seasoned professional with almost ten years of experience in the Heating/Air Conditioning industry now. I'm proud of him ---- and surprisingly (to me) we're friends now. There were many days where I could not have imagined that outcome, but I was determined to do what was necessary for him anyway. The results still blow me away...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bierman Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 The bottom line is I am not here to be my childs best friend. I am here to raise her to be a productive member of society. Now don't get me wrong, I love my daughter dearly and would rather spend time with her and my wife than with anyone else. But if she screws up, she knows whats coming next. In my former life as a cop I saw way too many "parents" who wanted to be friends with their kids and could not figure out what to do when their little darlings started doing things that caused them to come in contact with me and my coworkers. I would stand in the kids room, which contained more "stuff" (ie TV, stereo, computer, video game consoles etc.) than I have, while the kid would scream and berate the parents until I had to step in and dress the child down for talking to their parents that way. Sadly, most of these parents honestly had no clue how to deal with their kids. Unfortunately for them, you can't wait until the kid is 13,14 or 15 to begin the discipline process. It has to start from the beginning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cautery Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 (edited) If you don't run your home, your child(ren) will. There are few places more miserable to be than in a home or around a family where the <insert age here>-year old is in charge. Edited July 10, 2006 by cautery Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Moneypenny Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Not only is that movie a role for parenting, it is a role for leadership! If you stay in the trenches with your men and show you are one of them they will die for you. if you don't.... they plot your death while your hitting the golf ball. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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