Portal From Another Dimension

[Hey QuicksDraw!]

I posted this in another thread but moved it for maximum exposure...

I had a DQ at the Western Pennsylvania Championship last year on my first stage before I ever fired a shot. You had to start in a small "voting booth." At the start signal you had to hit a peg in the strong side wall which dropped a weight which opened the curtain then your off and running.

I smack the peg, nothing. I smack it again and hear badump bump. I reach for my gun and find nothing but an empty holster. I was not in the habit of locking my Limcat when doing anything but stand and draw. I am now in that habit.

A board member had been blackmailing me with this story to ensure my silence. He did not want me to share a story from that very morning of the match.

Up till now it has worked, but with everyone coming out with their DQ stories it seemed a good time for me to "come out."

Now the truth can be told!

I was sharing a room with our own Jake Di Vita. We ordered pizza and chicken delivered to the room the night before the match. We told jokes, dry fired, cleaned guns, etc.

I get up on match morning to go pee and Jake head still on his pillow says "I wouldn't do that if I was you."

"Don't worry a little stink won't kill me"

"Yes it will. It's worse than that. I stopped it up."

By this time I was outside the closed bathroom door and he was right. The funk was among us. I would not have gone in that bathroom in a Hazmat suit if you said a thousand dollar bill was on the floor.

I told him at that time that his ass was a portal to another dimension and the aliens were sending thru their toxic waste. I still had to pee.

We are in a small motel that did not have a restroom in the lobby. So I get dressed go out to the parking lot and pee behind a dumpster. When I come from behind the dumpster I see about ten people standing on the balcony/walkway applauding my performance/equipment. I go back to the room and curse Jake out again.

Jake has since made his IPSC alias "ThePortal" to commemorate the occasion.

[Matt Cheely]

That one still has me rolling on the floor laughing.

[Matthew_Mink]

Yeah thats pretty good, LOL!

[Patrick Sweeney]

Note to self: private room!

[XRe]

Note to self: private room!

I was just thinking the same thing

[lynn jones]

man, i can smell it from here...oh wait.. that was me!

[Lycanthrope]

I was in your squad that day.

You soooooo should have busted that out in front of of our 18 year old range princess and turned the tables on our speedy spandex clad compadre.

[Big Bore]

I don't which story is better this one or when you forgot to take off your gun locks at the Iron Man and had to run back to the car for the keys.