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A Hunter And His Friend.....


Merlin Orr

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That time of year...

A hunter and his friend were sitting in a tall tower stand near

highway 481 in Maverick Co., TX, early one cold December morning.

Suddenly, a huge non-typical buck walked out over the corn they had

spread in the senderos w/ a tailgate feeder. Moving quickly, the hunter

carefully aimed the Leupold scope on his .300 Win Mag at the unsuspecting

buck.

As he was about to squeeze the trigger on this deer of a lifetime,

his friend alerted him to a funeral procession passing slowly by down

481.

The hunter pulled away from the gunstock, set the rifle down, took

off his hat, bowed his head, and then closed his eyes in prayer.

His friend was stunned. "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and

touching thing I have ever seen you do. You are indeed the kindest

man I have ever known, and I feel lucky to call you a friend."

The hunter shrugged. "Yeah, well, we were married for 35 years."

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I thought -- when I first saw the title -- it was this one:

Guy and his buddy, Jim, go on a hunting trip. At the camp, the night before the season opens, they sit around, drinking Jim Beam, eating chili, swapping war stories. It gets later and later. Finally they turn in. Jim is too wound up to sleep, however, and tosses and turns, then says the hell with it: might as well pull an all-nighter, since it's only a couple hours until daylight, anyway....

AM comes.

They load up, and hike a couple miles into the woods. Jim takes one tree stand, and his buddy leaves him to go deeper to another.

After a couple hours, Jim feels wretched. The lack of sleep is killing him, and he can no longer fight the call of nature. He climbs down from the stand, and finds a fallen tree. He drops his pants, and sits back against some limbs, and waits for his bowels to relax. In a few minutes, he's sound asleep.

Meanwhile, his buddy has shot a deer. He field-dresses the small buck, then wanders back to where Jim is, to get his help dragging it out. He looks for him, then sees him still fast asleep, squatting in the fallen tree. He can't resist playing a practical joke. Quietly, he slips back to where he field-dressed the deer, grabs and armful of guts, then sneaks up on Jim, and dumps them under Jim's exposed butt.

And hour later, as he's hanging the deer back at camp, he sees Jim staggering out of the woods. He looks ashen.

"Help," he croaks, "you gotta get me to a hospital!"

"Yeah?" says his friend, affecting alarm? "Jimbo, what happend to you?"

"Man! I think I crapped my guts out!! But with the help of a small stick, I was able to shove 'em back in...."

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Two hunters from an unnamed eastern state were hunting deer in Montana. One of them shot the biggest deer that either had ever seen. They gutted it out and each grabbed and leg and started dragging the deer towards their truck. They had gone about a mile when they chanced on a couple of Montana hunters. The MT hunters agreed that it was a huge buck and that they were really lucky. They also told the back east hunters that if they dragged the deer by the front legs instead of the back legs it would be easier dragging.

The eastern hunters did this. After a couple of miles one looked over to the other and said "Hey that was a H... of an idea, it is easier." The other one said "Yep" and pointing over his shoulder "The trouble is, the truck is that way."

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Like the two Aggies who went hunting...one killed a huge buck and went to get his friend to help him get it back to camp.

After they cleaned it, the shooter says to his friend to grab the horns and help him drag the big buck...and they did...but after a couple of hours the second Aggie is getting tired and asks the first to take a break...

As they sit cooling off, the first one comments on how far they have dragged the big deer, and the second one says Yes, they have, but they are sure getting a long way from camp...

(They did not know to turn the horns to face the direction of camp.... :-) )

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