Round_Gun_Shooter Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 20 Things that it took me 50 + Years to learn 1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." 3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. 5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle. 6. You should not confuse your career with your life. 7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. 8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. 9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. 10. Never lick a steak knife. 11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie. 12. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip. 13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time. 14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. 15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven. 16. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers. 17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them. 18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.) 19. Your friends love you anyway. 20. Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wide45 Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 21. If you get an email with something funny in it, someone else has already posted it here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Orr Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 ATTENTION FORUM MEMBERS!!!! "3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." "21. If you get an email with something funny in it, someone else has already posted it here." Ain't that the truth........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spook Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 I like nr.18. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Round_Gun_Shooter Posted September 6, 2004 Author Share Posted September 6, 2004 I like nr.18. That is my favorite also. Regards, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted September 6, 2004 Share Posted September 6, 2004 "11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie." I failed to do that on one occasion. I was just in kind of a hurry at the time. I was 12 years old. I'll never forget it. It was probably the very first time I actually laughed AT myself and enjoyed the laugh. All my friends who were watching this come down enjoyed it, too. #3 is cool as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PistolJim Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 I've seen #2 in action and it's ugly. Jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 Get a gold lame suit and a 3' square hanky and you can be #5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TriggerT Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 6. You should not confuse your career with your life. Man, I am trying. When you wake up in the middle of the night and all you can think about is work, and how it is messing up the rest of your life, #6 becomes VERY difficult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghostrider Posted September 8, 2004 Share Posted September 8, 2004 Any married man could see that 14 should move RG into contention for American intellectual of the month. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now