lynn jones Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 A farmer has about 500 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks he has a rooster that he would sell. The other farmer says, "Yep, I've got this great rooster, named Kenny. He'll service every chicken you got, no problem." Well, Kenny, the rooster costs $3,000, a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Kenny. The farmer takes Kenny home and sets him down in the barnyard, but first he gave the rooster a pep talk. "I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time, and have some fun," the farmer said, with a chuckle. Kenny seems to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house and Kenny takes off like a shot. WHAM! Kenny nails every hen in the hen house - three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked. After that, the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen and, sure enough, Kenny is in there. Later, the farmer sees Kenny after a flock of geese down by the lake. Once again WHAM! He gets all the geese. By sunset he sees Kenny out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught and worried that his expensive rooster won't even last 24 hours. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next morning to find Kenny on his back out in the middle of the yard, mouth open, tongue hanging out and both feet sticking straight up in the air. Buzzards are circling overhead. The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh, Kenny, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself." Kenny opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky and says, "Shhhh… They’re getting closer." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diehli Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 BAHAHAHAHAHA! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 I love it!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garfield Posted October 30, 2003 Share Posted October 30, 2003 Good one ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew_Mink Posted November 2, 2003 Share Posted November 2, 2003 I've heard this one a thousand times and for some reason I always forget it. So, I get a good laugh at this one once again! (Lynn, post this again in about two months please) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn jones Posted November 2, 2003 Author Share Posted November 2, 2003 ok kenny the new dad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted November 2, 2003 Share Posted November 2, 2003 To be Continued: Kenny Meets the Vultures: Close Encounters of the Bird Kind... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Posted November 2, 2003 Share Posted November 2, 2003 Good one, Lynn! It reminds me of a "real world" rooster encounter that I witnessed 3 years ago at Thanksgiving. The in-laws were over for dinner and brought their pampered pooch. Eventually, the 'lil red pomeranian, had to go outside to heed natures call. "Muffin", I swear that's the dogs real name, spies chickens out by the barn and goes tearing out there barking. Big Mistake!!! The hens all scattered like chickens do, and the rooster did what roosters do. How can I put this delicately? Err.....it's amazing how much a red pomeranian dog looks like a red bantam hen to a rooster twice her size. We all laughed till we cried. And the dog stayed away from the barn after that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hey QuicksDraw! Posted February 24, 2004 Share Posted February 24, 2004 A farmer has about 500 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster that he would sell. The other farmer says, "Yep, I've got this great rooster, named Kenny. He'll service every chicken you got, no problem." Well, Kenny, the rooster costs $3,000, a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Kenny. The farmer takes Kenny home and sets him down in the barnyard, but first he gave the rooster a pep talk. "I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time, and have some fun," the farmer said, with a chuckle. Kenny seems to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house and Kenny takes off like a shot. WHAM! Kenny nails every hen in the hen house - three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked. After that, the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen and, sure enough, Kenny is in there. Later, the farmer sees Kenny after a flock of geese down by the lake. Once again WHAM! He gets all the geese. By sunset he sees Kenny out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught and worried that his expensive rooster won't even last 24 hours. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next morning to find Kenny on his back out in the middle of the yard, mouth open, tongue hanging out and both feet sticking straight up in the air. Buzzards are circling overhead. The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh, Kenny, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself." Kenny opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky and says, "Shhhh. They're getting closer." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn jones Posted February 24, 2004 Author Share Posted February 24, 2004 hey quickdraw, i posted this back in oct. '03. i guess it's time for a reload. lynn Kenny The Rooster, farm joke Track this topic | Email this topic | Print this topic lynn jones Posted: Oct 29 2003, 06:58 PM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hey QuicksDraw! Posted February 24, 2004 Share Posted February 24, 2004 Didn't know it had already been posted Still funny though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Orr Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 -------------------------------------------------------------- John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young egg-laying hens called pullets and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs. John kept records and any rooster th at didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to th e bells. John's favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell hadn' t rung at all! John went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But to Farmer John's amazement, Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. John was so proud of Butch, he entered him in the county fair -- and Butch became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result --- The judges not only awarded Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize" but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Good Job Merlin....you STILL got it baby.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 "...an efficiency report..." LOL...!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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