dajarrel Posted November 21, 2005 Share Posted November 21, 2005 The Blonde Handywoman A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. "Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said. "How much will you charge me?" The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was in the garage. The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?" He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" the husband asked. "Yes," the blonde replied. "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her. "And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackdragon Posted November 22, 2005 Share Posted November 22, 2005 Ivan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uspsa06007 Posted November 22, 2005 Share Posted November 22, 2005 way to true Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dajarrel Posted December 22, 2005 Author Share Posted December 22, 2005 (edited) I'm sorry, I found another one Edited December 22, 2005 by dajarrel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocket35 Posted December 22, 2005 Share Posted December 22, 2005 ROFL I love it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocket4 Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Thanks alot guys. And your in trouble rocket35. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackdragon Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Still Ivan You guys don't know how many of those things we see out here! I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Orr Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 AND - in keeping with the spirit of the season..... There were two blondes, who went deep into the woods, searching for a Christmas tree. After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diehli Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 BTW, x = 5. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wakal Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 'gorilla, you are incorrect. The test was to "FIND X". If the test called for "FIND THE VALUE OF X" you would be correct. However... Sometimes the blondes win A Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Yeh, I think the blond actually called their bluff on that 'math' test question!! (But I recall converting it to a "smart-ass redhead joke..." somewhere along the way)........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AWLAZS Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 The year in review for a Blonde Dear Diary: January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..... "duh"..... bottles won't fit in typewriter ! ! ! March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years !" April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out ! May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets ! ! ! June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope. July - Lost breast-stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms ! ! ! August - Got locked out of car in rainstorm.....car swamped, because top was down. September - Lost a TV quiz show. The capital of California is "C".....isn't it ? ? ? October - Hate M &M's.....they are so hard to peel. November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days...instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!! December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone ! ! ! What a year ! ! ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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