You Know You Are From Kansas If...

[ChuckS]

You know you are from Kansas when...

* during a storm you check the cattle before you check the kids.

* you are related to more than half the town.

* you can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance.

* your car breaks down outside of town and news of it gets back to town before you do.

* you don''t put too much effort into hairstyles due to wind and weather.

* there''s a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for it.

* the local gas station sells live bait.

* you don''t buy all your vegetables at the grocery store.

* you go to the State Fair for your family vacation.

* you get up at 5:30 a.m. and go down to the coffee shop.

* you''re on a first name basis with the county sheriff.

* when little smokies are something you serve on special occasions.

* you have the number of the Co-op on speed dial.

* all your radio preset buttons are country.

* using the elevator involves a corn truck.

* your mayor is also your garbage hauler, coach, custodian and bus driver.

* you know you should listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.

* you call the wrong number and talk to the person for an hour anyway.

* your excuse for getting out of school is that the cows got out.

* you know cow pies aren''t made of beef.

* you wake up when it''s dark and go to bed when it''s still light.

* you want to buy manure.

* you listen to "Paul Harvey" every day at noon.

* you can tell it''s a farmer working late in his field and not a UFO.

* your nearest neighbor is in the next area code.

* you know the difference between field corn and sweet corn when they are still on the stalk.

* you know the code names for everyone on the CB.

* you''ll skip your cousin''s funeral for the first day of deer season.

* you can eat an ear of corn with no utensils in under 20 seconds.

* you wear your irrigation boots to church.

* it takes 30 seconds to reach your destination and it''s clear across town.

* you can tell the smell of a skunk and the smell of feed lot apart.

* the meaning of true love is that you''ll ride in the tractor with him.

[tallgrass]

Most of these aren't all that bad. In fact most of them are "purdy daaammm guud".

[zhunter]

[stingerjg]

Hey......I represent some of those remarks!?!

[Liota]

Whut?