Merlin Orr Posted August 26, 2004 Share Posted August 26, 2004 Subject: Men don't know when to keep quiet The young bride approached her awaiting husband on their wedding night and demanded $20 for their first love making encounter. In his highly aroused state, he readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love for the next 30 years; him thinking it was a cute way for her to buy new clothes, etc. Arriving home around noon one day, she found her husband in a very upset state. Over the next few minutes she heard of the ravages of their financial ruin caused by corporate down-sizing and its effects on a 50-year-old executive. Calmly, she handed him a bank book showing deposits and interest for 30 years totaling nearly $1 million dollars. While handing him stock certificates worth nearly $2 million dollars, she informed him that he was the largest stockholder in the bank. She told him that for 30 years she had charged him each time they had sex, and this was the result of her investments. Instead of expressing unbridled joy, the husband was completely distraught. His wife bewilderedly asked him why the disappointment at such good news and he replied, "If I had known what you were doing, I would have given you all of my business!" Men have no idea when to keep their mouth shut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted August 26, 2004 Share Posted August 26, 2004 No kidding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Orr Posted August 27, 2004 Author Share Posted August 27, 2004 All men are DOGS.... Woof woof. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diehli Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 Stick a co... errr, sock in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 OUCH !!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 Hmmm... sock... with or without the ferrets/minks...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diehli Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 Whatever floats your boat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 It's all tightloop's fault. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diehli Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 Spank him as a punishment... I'm sure you'd both enjoy that. <— and that, too. Sorry... spending too much time with college students. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 Boy, I guess!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 Oh VixZen, that might be tooooo much fun.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flexmoney Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 Then the wife says...if I had relied on just your business...we'd still be in the poor house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 Alright Flex good one... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skywalker Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 I must be in love with math, but please follow me for a minute. Let's not consider at first possible bank interests or investments. $ 3'000'000/20 = 150'000 sex acts ... ... 30 years ... means 365 * 30 = 10950 days ... ... now to perform some 150'000 sex acts in 10950 days gives us an average of 13.7 sex acts per day continously for 30 years ... RESULT: THAT GIRL IS TO BE MARRIED, NO MATTER WHAT HER FINANCIAL SKILL IS... and now don't tell me engineers are only able to do useless calculations... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dead Buff Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 Add to that...married for 30 years and lets say married at ±25. That makes him 55 and he can still do it ±13 times a day...He should market the recipe and make 10 times the money overnight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 "and now don't tell me engineers are only able to do useless calculations..." I kinda thought it was engineers' actual JOBS to do "useless calculations"...!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 Sky your math skills are excellent, but you took all the fun out of it...you made her sound like a female Wilt Chamberlain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gun Geek Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 Nice try sky man, but you did a very engineer thing. You forgot about compunding interest. A very quick little spreadsheet says that if they did it on average just once per day (30 times per month) and earned 7% on the cash and 15% on the stocks over those 30 years (a bit optimisitc, but hey...), they'd have: Cash: $365,000 Stock: $2,076,938 That's an average of once per day. He could save it up for the weekend and still make his average Move it up to 35 times per month and they net just under $3million. Something to think about! Add an MBA to an engineering degree and see what you get! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skywalker Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 Geek, even if it was only once per day (for 30 years in a row), I'd still marry her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! How about with a dowry, twice-a-day, and a discount...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gun Geek Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 Yeah me too, even if I had to let her have Tuesday and Wednesday off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
short_round Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 Geek, even if it was only once per day (for 30 years in a row), I'd still marry her Exactly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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