Merlin Orr Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 WHY AM I MARRIED? You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead. __________ At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?' 'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.' __________ A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: 'Husband Wanted'. Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.' __________ When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him. __________ A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished __________ A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?' Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.' __________ A young son asked, 'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?' Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.' __________ Then there was a woman who said, 'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late.' __________ Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. __________ If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep. __________ Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. __________ First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!' Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.' __________ 'A Woman's Prayer: Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom to understand a man, to Love and to forgive him, and for Patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death' __________ AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!! Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.' The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wunbadweel Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 I've been married for over twenty-five years....but it's taken three women to get that done. Fortunately, neither of the first two could shoot worth a darn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zhunter Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ken hebert Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 Z.... You'll understand what we're talking about in a year or two... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
d5357 Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 very funny, but true in many respects!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffWard Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 I'm 38... never married... Shoot three days per week and golf 1-2... Ahhhhhh JeffWard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doug H. Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 Like my Dad told me "if you want to be happy marry an ugly poor woman because a rich beautiful woman can run away". I said "but Dad, an ugly poor woman can run away too!" His reply, "Who Cares!" Doug Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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