Daily Zen

[Madmark]

Daily Zen

~ Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,

for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much

leave me alone.

~The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a

leaky tire.

~ It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your

neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

~ Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be

promoted.

~ No one is listening until you fart.

~ Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

~ Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

~ If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of

car payments.

~ Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are

moving.

~ Before you criticize someone,you should walk a mile in their

shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and

you have their shoes.

~ If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

~ Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to

fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

~ If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it

was probably worth it.

~ If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

~ Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that

comes from bad judgment.

~The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half

and put it back in your pocket.

~ A closed mouth gathers no foot.

~ Duct tape is like The Force. It has a light side and a dark

side, and it holds the universe together.

~ There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

~ Experience is something you don't get until just after you

need it.

~ Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a

laxative on the same night.

~ Never miss a good chance to shut up.

This might be my chance!

[shadetree]

If a man speaks and there is no woman there to hear him is he still wrong?

Advice is like a grage sale.

[SmallPaul]

Daily Zen

~ Never miss a good chance to shut up.

This might be my chance!

Just a bit late sir.

[whiskey]

If someone says you are one in a million that means there are 1,000 people just like you in China.

[dajarrel]

"~ Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a

laxative on the same night. "

I just can't imagine

Dennis