This week's "training" class

[ima45dv8]

I'm suffering through a week of mindless drivel. My upper management has decided to roll out a "new initiative", a "new program" that supposedly presents a serious shift in our approach to how we conduct our daily affairs. Cool.... I've only been chasing such a rational departure for 7 years.

To do so, they hire a guy who has no clue what we do, to stand in front of a room full of Operations managers and ask questions and propose scenarios, the intent of which is to spark enlightening dialogue that reveals the ass-backwards processes and tools we use today. Also cool (sort of). And it works! We drag out all of our dirty laundry and explain how our process models are broken, how hard it is to bring about meaningful change, and vent about how hard it is to conduct business at anything above a 3rd-grade level.

But instead of following up these numerous exercises with a solution, rather than tell us, "Thanks for your input -- here's the new program", he tells us how, "...when we get this new system in place.....", and how, "...in the future, when we've implemented this new program....." our lives will be better. WTHF??!?!

Somebody actually paid out our hard-earned money to this moron? We engaged this guy to have US tell HIM what's wrong, with no indication of a real solution? I haven't been this frustrated and unfulfilled since that last encounter with Susan Wallace in the 11th grade!

In my limited experience, whenever I attend a "class" with the instructor telling me how much he has learned, that is inversely proportional to how much I learned.

The icing on the cake is I have to endure this crap for 2 more days, while my normal duties are backing up. They've now ensured that this weekend will be spent trying to get caught up to where I should have already been....

[RacerX1166]

Been there and done that. Depending on the business climate, senior management will hire various consultants to implement the 'flavor of the week' methodology to improve sales, efficiency, morale, toilet cleanliness, etc.

Unfortunately, most consultants I've worked with have nary a clue about the industry in which they are consulting. We went through a 'pricing/value shift' a few years ago where the consultants got all kinds of input on products where they believed they could sell at a higher price. I'm still fixing this the fallout from this initiative as a marketing guy.

Earlier this week, I came up with a great idea for a consulting theme. You pay me a bunch of money, tell me your issues, and I respond with 'PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR A$$ AND GET A CLUE', which is really all most companies really need to hear. Unfortunately, I was told Dogbert already blazed that trail.

[Flatland Shooter]

Usually upper management brings in the "experts" when they want to implement a change and don't have the cajones to do it themselves. Its always the "do as I say, not as I do" policy. Its time the big boys start earning those big bucks.

Bill

[ima45dv8]

Agreed. Long ago I had the opportunity to work for a couple of businesses owned by women. They each displayed the uncommon wisdom of asking for input from feet-on-the-street personnel, both techs and managers, and implemented the input received. We've read here many times how women make better students for shooting because they don't bring a bunch of preconceived notions to the task. If they don't know......they ask (brilliant!). I bow to their intellectual superiority.

I'm sick of a bunch of Western European gentlemen from Switzerland behaving like they have a clue about how business is done in the U.S. I wish they would just can their feel-good bullshit and get out of my way.

They don't call us capitalist pigs for nothing. We earned that honorable title with sweat and blood.

[G-ManBart]

They don't call us capitalist pigs for nothing. We earned that honorable title with sweat and blood.

Priceless...I may add that to my signature line!

P.S. if you think what you're dealing with is bad, try working for the most BUREAUcratic agency in the federal government