EricW Posted June 6, 2002 Share Posted June 6, 2002 A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been tentatively named "Administratium". Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Administratium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization, in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Administratium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass". You will know it when you see it..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaiserb Posted June 6, 2002 Share Posted June 6, 2002 Sounds like the company I work for...all overhead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bountyhunter Posted June 18, 2002 Share Posted June 18, 2002 I think you have the decay process wrong: when it reorganizes, the head neutron retires and takes about 60% of the nucleus with him as a golden parachute. Then the assistant neutrons fight to be the head neutron, creating backstabbing alliances to overcome the nucleic forces of each other. Eventually, the nucleaus is again stable with an even more inert neutron in charge and a lot of resentful assistant neutrons who all vow to do everything they can to make the new head neutron fail in his new position. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonedaddy Posted June 19, 2002 Share Posted June 19, 2002 can i get a barrel sleeve made out of this stuff? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EricW Posted June 19, 2002 Author Share Posted June 19, 2002 No, but I can whittle you one out of a block of Unobtainium. I got it at a surplus sale at the Hanford Nuclear Reservation. Pricing, as you can imagine, is rather dear. Oh, and you'll have to wear lead-lined gloves while you shoot... (Edited by EricW at 7:26 pm on June 18, 2002) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrumpyOne Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 bump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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