Stay Insane

[Dead Buff]

Did the search and didn't find it...if it is hiding please delete...

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with That.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favours"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Hard.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......

20. Print this and distribute at your next shoot to make people smile..Its Called Therapy...

[JimmyB]

21. Ring a work colleague. When they answer, say to them "Sorry, I'm a bit busy right now, can you call me back?"

22. Moonwalk to the photocopier.

23. When someone calls you by your name, stand up and shout "No, I'M Spartacus"

24. Call someone into your office, then hide under the desk when they come in.

25. Finish every sentence with "Mon", as in "thanks for the meeting Mon" (use Jamaican accent if possible)

26. In the middle of a meeting, scream "the voices, the voices" then run out of the room.

27. E-mail your boss and declare undying love for them.

28. Stare sorrowfully into the distance and sigh every so often. When someone asks you what is wrong, turn around and say "I think I'm paying too much for my electricity".

29. Print off 100 sheets of blank paper, then look at the printer and say "what have you done with my words, you fiend?!"

30. In a store, look for the large promotional display, such as Pepsi. Then find the nearest member of staff and ask them if they have any of the featured item.

[SiG Lady]

Yeh...! 2, 4, 6, and 18...

[diehli]

28 made me guffaw.

[ghostrider]

Don't know how you did it, but evidently you tapped into the video cameras in the offices in my plant. No easy task, because they are on a separate system.

[short_round]

31. The next time you sneeze say "God Bless Me" before someone else does.

32. Walk down the hall placing one foot directly in front of the other and mutter "baby-steps, baby-steps."

33. Go around the office and re-load everyone's stapler with 10 staples in accordance with the new office staple ban.

34. Take extra staples with you and tell office-mates that they can have them back in 10 years.

35. Park your car as close as you can to the lobby of your work and leave the keys with the receptionist to give to the valet.

[SiG Lady]

Hmmm... what are we to do with all our pre-ban staplers??

[Ron Ankeny]

36. UsE RAnDoM cAPiTaliZaTiON iN EvEryTHiNg YOu wrITe

37. Hold automatic doors open for people.

38. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

39. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead; repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!".