lynn jones Posted October 31, 2003 Share Posted October 31, 2003 The coach had put together the perfect team for the Detroit Lions. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win. Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away. KABOOM! He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney. KA-BLOOEY! Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph. BULLS-EYE! "I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!" So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Lions go on to win the Super Bowl. The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother. "Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!" "I don't want to talk to you," the old Muslim woman says. "You deserted us. You are not my son!" "I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans." "No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Detroit!" ======================================================= "In the first place, God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made school boards." Mark Twain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted October 31, 2003 Share Posted October 31, 2003 Good story, except the Lions will never win the Super Bowl even if they find a guy like the one in the story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twix Posted November 2, 2003 Share Posted November 2, 2003 Ouch! Tightloop! I guess dat's why da Yoopers root for da Packers den, aye? Seriously (he says on the humor forum), if we can't do it with Millen and Mariuchi, it will never happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted November 2, 2003 Share Posted November 2, 2003 Well Twix, You had Barry Sanders, who was arguably the best running back in football during his active years, and nothing happened even resembling a trip to the Super Bowl. Kind of like the Oilers when they were in Houston...We had Earl Campbell and couldn't get there. heck, we weren't even Divisional Champs... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twix Posted November 3, 2003 Share Posted November 3, 2003 Well now you're getting personal and it's getting me PO'd all over again. Not at you, TL. We had Barry Sanders, yes, and we had Wayne flaming Fontes. Fontes had the best,argueably, RB to ever play and NEVER drafted an offensive lineman in the first round. He's the same coach who let Chris Spielman go, this was a guy who would have been so loyal to the organization and who was such a leader... did you know that he tore (I can't think of the name right now) the muscle that connects your arm to your chest in the first game of one season and never missed a play the rest of the year? This is a career ending injury for most. Thanks for getting me started, TL. Edited to add: Wayne Fontes is synonomous to me with fat, stupid, golfcart riding DA (and I don't mean District Attorney). Go Colts! I'm tired of having my heart ripped out , chewed up and trampled. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted November 3, 2003 Share Posted November 3, 2003 Sorry to stir up bad memories Twix. I still lament the fact that the Oilers never had a quarter back that could count past 10 without taking off his shoes, and we had an owner like Bud Adams... But now my blood pressure is going up 'cause I think of those 3 new stadiums I'm having to pay for in Houston. Can't make the playoffis in the Natl League, expansion football team that won't get a smell, and even with a 7'5" Chinaman, we won't make the playoffs in hoops. Let's just forget pro sports and go dry fire some more.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scooterj Posted November 3, 2003 Share Posted November 3, 2003 Anyone want an owner named Tom Benson? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twix Posted November 4, 2003 Share Posted November 4, 2003 Confession time: I like to use the pro athletes on my television screen as dry fire targets. Watch the game, get some practice in and some aggression out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now