Wrestling

[gm iprod]

Old, but still funny.

The Circus comes to town, you could tell, there was Elephant all down the main street, and the big draw card is a HUGE Russian wrestler by the name of Ivan the Terrible.

Now Ivan is 7' tall, 6' wide, 450lbs of muscle and hairy as a mountain Gorilla. Many people comment that he does seem a little too like a Gorilla. He is famous for his full Kremlin hold. Which usually results in a cruel slow death for whom ever is subjected to it.

The circus is offering $1000 a minute for anyone who get in the ring. Surprisingly no one takes on the challenge, for the whole week they are in town, no one gets in the ring.

The ring-master is a little disappointed with the turn out for the wrestling that on the last day in town he offers $5000 a minute. Next thing you know the big top is full. Everybody waiting to see who would be stupid enough to tackle Ivan. Still no takers.

"$6000 a minute" crys the ringmaster. The crowd goes silent. Still no takers.

"$7000 a minute !" Still nothing, but the crowd is now starting to get edgy.

When he gets to $10,000 a minute the crowd is muttering noisily. Suddenly from the very back comes a loud voice.

" I'll do it ". Up steps a small man built light a whippet, 5'2" and weighing 125lbs in boots and overcoat.

The crowd is stunned into silence.

The ringmaster is lost for words.

Finally as the man steps into the ring the ringmaster speaks " Sheeeee it, my god theres nothing to him" he had not intended to utter that out loud.

" Are you sure man?"

The little fella says " just gimme the money and let me at the wee poof"

"But sir this is Ivan the Terible, killer of bears and widow maker, are you sure you want to proceed??"

" No problem, you just call for a doctor and we'll be right with you."

The ringmaster approaches Ivan and whispers " Kill this little bastard ASAP."

Ivan grunts and nods his head.

The man drops his overcoat and all the crown see that he has a terribly withered frame. They gasp in horror. Ivan grins and laughs.

The bell goes and the two combatants go to the middle of the ring, where they circle oneanother for a couple of seconds.

Suddenly the little man attacks Ivan, Ivan is surprised for only a second at this turn of events. The little man is quickly grabbed by Ivan and they fall writhing to the floor. Ivan quickly moves into position to afix the Kremlin hold. One arm goes over the little fellows head and the other pulls him in tight to Ivan chest as he is suddenly engulfed in Ivans midsection. They crowd is astounded at the speed and ferocity of Ivan's move.

They are hushed and only a small moaning sound can be heard from the ring. Suddenly there is a scream, like they have never heard before, and Ivan is propelled from the ring and falls dead to the floor. The crowd goes nuts. They rush the stage. The ringmaster staggers into the ring and pulls the little man to his feet. He is amazed at this outcome. But being the performer he is he has to ask what happened.

The little man grabs the microphone and speaks to the crowd.

"Well let me tell you!. Once I got into the ring I realised that I may have made an error of jugdement with this match. So..... I figured attack was the best form of defence and in I went. We grappled for a second and then he laid the Kremlin on me. I could not move or breathe. The very life was ebbing from me, so as everything was turning dark I suddenly sees it before my eyes. A huge willy. It was right there in front of me. Well I had to do it. So I grabbed that willy and I bit down real hard, as hard as I could, cause if I failed I was a goner. Well, its amazing the surge of strength you get when you bite you own willy!!!!!!!!"

[Jon Merricks]

ROFLMAO

[Duane Thomas]

That's one of the funniest things I've ever read in my life.