Neighbor From Hell

[Kimberkid]

Choose from the following as you see fit, some may seem too tame, some too harsh...

1. Burn down his house

2. Steal all the rims/tires off all his vehicles in the middle of the night

3. Tell him you are gay and just havent found the right way to profess your love to him, then openly and shamelessly flirt with him at every oppertunity. Send him love notes in the mail.

4. Take out a newspaper ad with a Photoshopped picture of him in that green thingy made famous on this forum.

5. Kill all the vermin in your area (groundhogs, raccoons, big rats) and run them over with your truck, them put them in the road in front of his house. Not your fault they all got him by cars at the same spot.

6. Buy some "Skunk Stink" and inject it into paintballs, then launch them into his siding, chimney, cold air return.

7. "TP" his house every night, and soak the TP in gas, so when he goes to burn it out the tree, he starts a huge fire, then call the fire dept.

8. List his address and phone number in some gay/S&M magazines or websites.

9. Have sex with his sister/cousin/mother/daughter and take pictures

10. Invite every biker/shooter you know over for a BBQ and burnout, motor revving, and IPSC contest.... at 4 a.m.

11. Order pizzas and hookers to come delivered to his house, then call the cops 10 mins later with an "anonymous" tip.

12. In broad daylight walk up to his car and pinch a duece on the windshield.

13. Open a biker bar or strip club as close to his house as is legally possible and every night is $.50 draft night.

14. Call Homeland Security and tell them he is housing terrorists.

15. Spraypaint profane or sexually suggestive comments on his dog.

[boo radley]

I'm not sure this idea is as fun as Merlin and other's suggestions for "Dirty Tricks" played anonymously, but...have you *talked* to this guy and his wife?

Are the neighbors completely unreasonable -- I mean besides buying some land and clear-cutting it, and calling the police 5x? Granted, calling the Law seems very unreasonable, but do their complaints have any merit at all??

It sounds like you've got a really nice place, with a shooting range and a dirt-bike track, and are living on it with family, extended family, and friends, and it's not inconceivable that y'all could make some noise, though I don't doubt that your neighbor is making you and your family angry, and is acting improperly.

Maybe you can split the cost of planting a big barrier between the properties?

Ugly situation, I grant you.

[h4444]

Slightly different approach but same effect as Chuck's suggestion......

Need anyting fertilized near the property lines??? Fight BS with BS,,,,,,a steady flow of manure could be very annoying. Skip the feed bill, go straight for the $h!t

Hmm, that last line may need to be copywrited. ;-)

Then again,,,,,USPSA shooters can make a lot of noise,,,,,open shooters are good.

Know anyone with a .50 BMG? Well, that would get expensive,,,,,but be fun.

If he's supposed to be on disability,,,,,contact the social security administration,,,,,end of story.

Some other things,,,,,

Are there convenants on his land that he isn't complying with??? If so, that can be used to cause some grief, but make sure you're complying with yours if you have any. Has there been any material improvements to the property,,,,,does the county assessor know this???

Are the tags expired on his vehicles?

[blackdragon]

Hey guys!

Slow down, I'm taking notes for my next book!

Ivan

[Bigbadaboom]

3. Tell him you are gay and just havent found the right way to profess your love to him, then openly and shamelessly flirt with him at every oppertunity. Send him love notes in the mail.

Also, tell him he has a pretty mouth and ask him to go see "Brokeback Mountain" with you.

[USPshooter]

Are the neighbors completely unreasonable -- I mean besides buying some land and clear-cutting it, and calling the police 5x? Granted, calling the Law seems very unreasonable, but do their complaints have any merit at all??

It sounds like you've got a really nice place, with a shooting range and a dirt-bike track, and are living on it with family, extended family, and friends, and it's not inconceivable that y'all could make some noise, though I don't doubt that your neighbor is making you and your family angry, and is acting improperly..

When they moved in they were very nice. They were always invited to thanksgiving etc and came at first. They got more and more reclusive and troublesome. Instead of talking to us, they try to get us(who have been there 10+years longer) in trouble with the county, and the sheriff.

Granted we do make some noise, be we only ride/shoot etc in the middle of the day. were not shooting at 5pm+ on weekdays or anything. Usualy were out like noon till 3-5 on saturdays, thats pretty much it.

We don't want to seek legal or dirty means of action. There generaly nice people other than the complaining, they just don't belong out in the country.

[tightloop]

You have gotten some good advice here, time to stop hemming and hawing and use some of it....

[geezer-lock]

Florida has an anti-fraud unit that puts a high priority on personal injury fraud. If your guy is "disabled" chances are someone would be interested in his work habits. Take a look here for details:

http://www.fldfs.com/fraud/

David C