Physical Development Advice

[carinab]

I am one of 460,000 DNRC members (poised to take over the world). As such, I receive the newsletter. The newsletters are usually so informational that I save them. Here is an article on physical fitness from 2003.

Important Muscles

-----------------

One of the most popular machines at my gym is a bizarre-looking

contraption designed to strengthen your gluteus maximus. It might

seem like a frivolous vanity thing to you, but it's more practical

than you think. For example, if your spouse hogs all the bed

covers, just clench the sheet with your butt muscles and hold

on. Your spouse will be grunting and tugging while you appear to

be sleeping peacefully, never letting on that there's a

struggle going on below the surface.

Or suppose you were kidnapped and your hands and feet were tied,

but you were smart enough to wear stretch pants. Your butt,

properly trained, can be a fierce fighting machine. With a little

practice you can learn to disarm a knife-wielding ASSailant.

A huge, muscular butt can also make you appear taller when you're

seated. That's a big advantage at business meetings. No one will be

the wiser until you stand up and butt-slap the overhead projector

against the wall when you turn to leave.

I started using the butt machine myself, with the ultimate goal of

making it easier to hold tools for home repairs. If you have only

two hands, and you're already holding a flashlight and a

screwdriver, you need at least one more set of opposable cheeks to

keep the pliers nearby. As a bonus, I figure it will discourage my

neighbor from borrowing my tools.

[mcoliver]

[dajarrel]

Sounds as if this DNRC bunch is a bad bunch indeed. Uuh, What is "DNRC"

forgive my ignorance

dj

[diehli]

Sounds as if this DNRC bunch is a bad bunch indeed. Uuh, What is "DNRC"

forgive my ignorance

dj

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Click here.

And then click here.

[dajarrel]

Pardon me for being so damn stupid

[carinab]

DNRC