Success and Failure

[Yagi]

We all know that people can be afraid of failure, but did you know that many people are afraid of success?

No one likes to fail. But some folks are so focused on the possibility of failure that they become over-anxious and unable to perform. Their fear of failure actually creates failure.

There are people who manage to sabotage their own efforts, often unconsciously, not because they are afraid of failure, but because they are afraid of success.

You see, we all carry around a mental picture of ourselves, and if success is not a part of that picture, we are in trouble. While a part of us wants success and all that goes with it, another part is silently saying, "That is not like me. I am not comfortable with this kind of responsibility," or something along those lines.

We may be perfectly capable of success in other ways, and we may have all the necessary skills and abilities. But it is like growing a pumpkin inside a jug. You can slip a flowering pumpkin vine inside a jug, and the pumpkin will grow to be jug-shaped. Later, you break the glass and you have a jug-shaped pumpkin.

You see, your picture of yourself, your self-concept, is like the glass jug. It tells you where your limits are. Techniques like affirmation and visualization are used to help when you want to get a bigger jug or, in other words, when you want to comfortably stretch your idea of who you are and what you are capable of.

With practice, you can get to the place where neither failure nor success will upset you.

[SiG Lady]

I recently (mid-April thru Mid-May) had a very negative experience at a law office where I was expected to instantly learn the nuances of what were essentially THREE jobs, and I just couldn't do it in the time expected. (After a month I still had no workstation of any kind either, but that was another whole issue--but contributed to the lack of ability to learn the job). But the pressure of the employer's expectation was such that I was PARALYZED with fear of making ANY kind of mistake, and that very 'fear' may well have contributed to the nightmarish failure of the entire endeavor (I withdrew my services from the job after a full month, claiming lack of skill and lack of workstation).

I'd never encountered any situation quite like this one before, and it warped my mind a bit and I really had to THINK about what took place thru this experience. I had already narrowed the internal problems down to the two factors mentioned, but had not defined (to my satisfaction) the unusual level of 'fear' that pervaded my demeanor during the experience. It's unlike me to be so fearful in even new workplace situations, but I was utterly paralyzed with dysfunction because of it. This line from Yagi's post really cleared away some of the ambiguity of my perspective on it:

"But some folks are so focused on the possibility of failure that they become over-anxious and unable to perform. Their fear of failure actually creates failure."