Microsoft Windows

[GrumpyOne]

Dear Consumers:

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 2007,

GEORGIA EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of the STATE

of GEORGIA.

If you have one of these, you may need help understanding the commands.

The GEORGIA EDITION may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It

reads:

WINDERS 2007, with a background picture of a BULLDOG,

superimposed over a bottle of Macon County moonshine.

Please also note:

The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"

My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"

Dial Up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"

Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"

Hard Drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive"

Floppies are "Them little ol' plastic thangs"

Instead of an error message, "Duct Tape" pops up

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN GEORGIA EDITION:

Cancel............stopdat

Reset..............try'er agin

Yes...............yep

No................nope

Find...............hunt fer it

Go to.............over yonder

Back...............back yonder

Help..............hep me out here

Stop...............kwitit (WHOA!)

Start.............crank'er up

Settings..........settins

Programs......... stuff at duz stuff

Documents....... .stuff ah done did

Also note that the GEORGIA EDITION does not recognize capital letters or

punctuation marks. Some programs that are exclusive to WINDERS 2005:

Tiperiter.....................a word processing program Colerin'

Book.................a graphics program Cyferin'

Mersheen.............calculator

Outhouse Paper................notepad

Inner-net.....................Microsoft explorer 5.0

Pitchers.......................a graphics viewer

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused. If you have received a

copy of the GEORGIA EDITION, you may return it to Microsoft for a

replacement version.

I hope this helps all y'all!

Billy Bob Gates

[High Lord Gomer]

I done got dat un, thankye much. Its dem durn Flurriddens don't know howta use em.