February Contest Answers

[Patrick Sweeney]

For those who don't want to read all the posts, and for those who want to know just what I saw in them, here you go:

1) A: “Goin’ on a year now, I haven’t had nothin’ ‘twixt my nethers ain’t run on batteries.”

B: “I can’t know that!”

C: “I could stand to hear more.”

Serenity Finally, an SF movie that isn't in the Gene Roddenberry "Can't we all just get along" mold. To say Kaylee is horny to start with is an understatement, and she's been pining for the Doctor for over a year. The Captain is a bit squeamish, Jayne is just a pig.

2) “You walk into a bar, and ten minutes later sailors are running out. What’s up with that?”

The Long Kiss Goodbye Geena Davis is coming out of her amnesia, to find she's a hyper-efficient killer. Samuel L. Jackson is noticing. The movie is one cliche after another, and proves that Rennie Harlan (Davis' husband at the time) can't direct his way out of a paper bag. But as a fun action shoot 'em up its worth the time.

3) A: “I don’t know any Rwandans.

B: “You don’t know the guy in the trunk, either.”

Collateral You either love it or you don't. Personally I think Tom Cruise was under-rated in this one. Jamie Foxx almost steals it from him. The gun wrangling is very good, as you'd expect from a Michael Mann production.

4) “He was twelve years old and I had to tell him! Do you understand? I had to tell him what lay in his future.”

Dogma You don't have to know anything about Roman Catholic ritual and history to find this funny. If you do, it will either be screamingly funny, or painful. Here, Alan Rickman is explaining to Linda Fiorentino that he had to explain to Jesus just what lay in store for him. What whould happen unless he turned from his path.

5) A: “And what to him from England?”

B: “Scorn and defiance, slight regard, contempt, and any thing that that may not misbecome the mighty sender, doth he prize at you.”

Henry V Henry is picking a fight with France. He sends Exeter (in the Kenneth Branagh version, Brian Blessed) to deliberately insult the King and Dauphan (heir) of France into a fight. There are so many speeches in Henry V that should have you spoiling for a fight, its a wonder the crowds didn't spontaneously invade France back in 1615 when this was first presented.

6) A: “What did you study in college?”

B: “18th century French poetry.

C: <laughs out loud.>

Groundhog Day Bill Murray is still trying to figure out how to lay Andie MacDowall, and this is an early iteration. He uses the loop of Groundhog Day to learn, and learn and learn, but finally just gives up. And thus wins. If you don't fall in love with Andie in this one, you need testosterone boosters.

7) “You probably shouldn’t be digging in your ass like that.”

Bad Santa Oh god, is this a funny movie. "F**k me Santa, f**k me santa" practically had me falling off the couch in tears. Do not let the kids or your grannie watch this, thinking it is a holiday movie! I'll forgive Billy Bob all his Angelina histrionics just for this movie.

8) “Time to sleep. Time to die.”

Blade Runner Rutger Hauer is arguably the most human of the people in the movie, and he's a construct, with a set termination date. After almost killing Harrison Frod, but deciding not to, he then sits down to let the end come peacefully. From a Phillip K, dick short. Dick is the SF author Hollywood loves, and can't get right. They come the closest here. What is reality? Who is human? What does it mean to be human? Fans argue over which is best; the voice-over version or the non.

9) A: “Now I don’t want to kill you, and you don’t want to be dead.”

B: “Nobody’s that good, Tyree.

C: “You want to find out?”

Silverado OK, imagine every cliche of every western, then put them all together and present them in earnest. A good, old-fashioned movie, with every character instantly knowable, and yet still fresh. Allegedly Costner got his role as a make-up for being left out of The Big Chill. If so, good choice.

10) “Now step away. I would be a sad day for mother, were we both killed this day.”

Gettysburg Three days of slaughter, with noble men on both sides duking it out. The high point is Professor Joshua Chamberlain (Professor of Rhetoric and Debate, Bowdoin College) a Colonel of Infantry. At the climax of the Battle of Little Round Top, out of ammo, he orders a bayonet charge that saves the day. Here, preparing for the coming fight, Jeff Daniels (Chamberlain) tells his brother not to stand so close. Civil War battles were fought shoulder-to-shoulder, with casualty rates in the 20% range for one engagement being considered "low."

[benos]

“Time to sleep. Time to die.”

and "... like tears to rain"

Whew.