Ramp Monkey

[lynn jones]

A woman was looking at the animals on display in a pet store. A man walked in and said to the shopkeeper "I'll take a Ramp Monkey, please." The shopkeeper nodded and took a monkey out of a cage. He put a collar and leash on the animal and handed it the man, saying, "That'll be $5,000." The man paid and left with the monkey.

The surprised woman went to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?"

The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that's a Ramp Monkey. He can drive tractors, load cargo and guide aircraft into gates. All with no back talk or complaints. He's well worth the money."

The woman then spotted a monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?"

"Oh, that one" replied the shopkeeper. "That's a "Flight Attendant Monkey, she's attractive and personable. She can serve drinks and meals, and even evacuate passengers from an aircraft in an emergency. A very useful monkey indeed."

The woman looked around a little longer and found a monkey with a $50,000 price tag. The shocked woman exclaimed, "This one costs more than all the others put together! What in the world can it do?"

"Well," said the shopkeeper, "I've never actually seen him do anything except drink beer and play with his dick. But his papers say he's a Pilot."

[Merlin Orr]

Strike "Pilot Monkey" and replace with Federal Employee ape...

[Jasonub]

There was a learjet that crashed in an island. It crashed and killed the pilot, stewardess and 2 elderly adults

The only survivor was a monkey and was so intelligent that he can do sign language.

so investigators ask. What was the old people doing?

The monkey closed his eyes and put his palms together and rested it on his face.

Ohh the investigator exclaimed, they were sleeping?

the monkey nodded

The investigator then asked what was the stewardess doing?

The monkey got a glass and started drinking .

The investigators asked was she drinking???

The monkey nodded again in affirmation.

What an intelligent monkey!!!

The investigators asked what was the pilot doing?

The monkey got a news paper and started to act as if reading it.

So the pilot was reading???

The monkey again nodded.

Incredible! the monkey really knows how to communicate!!!

Ok monkey, last question. What were you doing???

The monkey pointed to his chest proudly and pointed to the intact cockpit and acted as he was holding the steering wheel moving it left and right.

[tightloop]

Thanks Merlin...I am an Ex Fed.....and it should be drink wine and play with your dick.....