Subject: Firearms Nomenclature

[lynn jones]

Subject: Firearms Nomenclature

1. BORE- Reading another Weaver vs. Isosceles article

2. BUTT- What gets shot off if you fail to train

3. FRONT SIGHT- Annoying part that obscures your view of the target

4. REAR SIGHT- Part used to remove calluses from hands during malfunction clearance drills

5. MUZZLE- Clamp like device used to prevent utterance of b.s. by Shumer, Kerry, Feinswine, etc

6. PISTOL- Device often used as a substitute for a real weapon

7. SOCIAL SECURITY- Repeating 12 gauge shotgun

8. BUCKSHOT- Pills used to cure social diseases

9. 1911-

a. pivotal date in firearms history

b. number of gizmos in range bag

c. rounds fired monthly by really good shots

10. COMBAT FLASHLIGHT- Device used to pinpoint your location for the enemy under poor lighting conditions

11. EXTENDED MAGAZINE RELEASE- Device used to prevent magazines from staying in the weapon

12. EXTENDED SLIDE RELEASE- Device used to keep the slide from locking open

13. DROP-IN PARTS- accessories that demand meticulous hand fitting by an experienced gunsmith

14. LASER- Amusement device for pet cats

15. SPARE MAGAZINE- weighted device used to counter-balance the pistol on the belt

16. BUG- Back-Up Gun, carried strictly to keep parts from breaking on the big pistol

17. BULLET- Remote control drill, used to create apertures into the subcutaneous environment

Shooting Terms

1. POINT OF IMPACT-

a. if it goes right= a jerk

b. if it goes left= a push

c. if it goes straight= a miracle

2. BEGINNER- Someone working on accumulating bad habits

3. MASTER- Someone who has finally grasped the basics

4. GUN SHOP COMMANDO- non-shooter who has firmly held beliefs not supported by training, education, or experience

5. GUN WRITER- Gun Shop Commando with a word processor

6. SEAL- extremely common aquatic animal, there are thousands and thousands of them

7. Ex-SEAL- almost anyone behind a typical gun shop counter

8. MATCH- a ritual activity used to induce stress, frustration, and anxiety in Beginners and Masters

9. COURSE OF FIRE- elaborate dance used in these rituals

10. MATCH DIRECTOR- senior witch doctor who oversees rituals

11. RANGE OFFICER (competition)- a less senior witch doctor. Due to ingestion of mind altering drugs, his perception of the ritual is nothing like that of the Beginners and Masters

12. RANGE OFFICER (police)- a person tasked with range maintenance, landscaping, supply, and administration. Only rarely involved in relevant training activity.

13. MARTIAL ARTIST- A shooter who cannot get through his head that a match is not a gunfight.

14. GAMESMAN- A shooter who views his pistol the same as his fly rod, tennis racket, and Nintendo.

15. INSTRUCTOR- Mythical, god-like being who imparts wisdom to Beginners, transforming them into Masters. Also keeps beginners from getting into trouble through the accumulation of excess money.

[Merlin Orr]

Do I hear an AMEN..?? How bout a Hallelujah..?

[Run n Gun]

Thanks lynn!

That has got to be the funniest thing I read in a long while!

Ed