Spaceballs

[Patrick Sweeney]

My wife got me a bunch of DVDs for christmas, one of which was "Spaceballs" by Mel Brooks. I hadn't seen it since it came out, but it was as funny as I remembered. Some parts, I nearly snorted my milk and cookies out through my nose, I was laughing so hard.

I had forgotten about Daphne Zuniga, and looked her up in my movie references. Apparently she went straight from Mel brooks to "B" movies, to straight to video releases. Oh well, she was what they needed in 1987: nice eye candy without being too adult/unclothed. It was a Mel brooks movie, not a Shannon Tweed project.

She also got me "Young Frankenstein." Be afraid.

[short_round]

"I see your schwartz is as big as mine."

[rhino]

I liked it when they combed the desert!

[Pierruiggi]

I remember something in the translation that was funny to me. In Star Wars, "the Force" was tranlated as "la Fuerza", quite accurate; in Spaceballs, "the Schwartz" was translated as "la Suavidad" (the softness, or the smoothness).

Some memorable scenes (exact wording thanks to IMDB):

1st:

Dark Helmet: Careful you idiot! I said across her nose, not up it!

Laser Gunner: Sorry sir! I'm doing my best!

Dark Helmet: Who made that man a gunner?

Major: I did sir. He's my cousin.

Dark Helmet: Who is he?

Colonel Sandurz: He's an a**hole sir.

Dark Helmet: I know that! What's his name?

Colonel Sandurz: That is his name sir. a**hole, Major a**hole!

Dark Helmet: And his cousin?

Colonel Sandurz: He's an a**hole too sir. Gunner's mate First Class Philip a**hole!

Dark Helmet: How many a**holes do we have on this ship, anyway?

[Entire bridge crew stands up and raises a hand]

Entire Bridge Crew: Yo!

Dark Helmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by a**holes!

[Dark Helmet pulls his face shield down]

Dark Helmet: Keep firing, a**holes!

2nd:

Pizza the Hut

3rd:

Singing Alien chestburster

4th:

Lone Starr (Bill Pullman) and Dark Helmet (Rick Moranis) killing part of the crew when fighting.

5th:

Dark Helmet breathing Darth Vader style... then lifting his mask to reveal an asthma respirator.

6th:

[King Roland has given in to Dark Helmet's threats, and is telling him the combination to the "air shield"]

Roland: One.

Dark Helmet: One.

Colonel Sandurz: One.

Roland: Two.

Dark Helmet: Two.

Colonel Sandurz: Two.

Roland: Three.

Dark Helmet: Three.

Colonel Sandurz: Three.

Roland: Four.

Dark Helmet: Four.

Colonel Sandurz: Four.

Roland: Five.

Dark Helmet: Five.

Colonel Sandurz: Five.

Dark Helmet: So the combination is one, two, three, four, five? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard in my life! The kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!

7th:

President Skroob: [enters after the interrogation of King Roland] Did you get the combination?

Dark Helmet: Yes, sir!

President Skroob: Well, what is it?

Dark Helmet: 1 2 3 4 5

President Skroob: 1 2 3 4 5? That's amazing! I've got the same thing on my luggage!