Great advice, thanks to all for helping out a noob!
I'm going to double-stuff the ears, shoot at the berm with .22 snapcaps at a rate of 2x/second. That way I'll never hear or notice people making fun of me for not shooting anything. Or when I do, for missing the target completely.
Seriously though, thanks for the advice. I'll give 'em a try shortly. I'm currently recovering from knee surgery and I'd need a doctor's note to hit the range, otherwise my wife might come after me with my own pistol!